Michael Scott: [After a toilet flushes] We are in the heart of it. And the surge of water carries our business out to the sea.

Ryan: You should come into town this weekend, man. Yeah, we'll hang out Scranton style.
Michael Scott: Hey, you said you were gonna be out of town this weekend.
Ryan: Please don't listen to my phone calls. Yeah, she's like um, she'd probably be a six in New York, but she's like a seven here in Scranton. And then uh, my boss is my old boss from Dunder Mifflin. It's a small space.

Michael Scott: [on the phone] They're getting on my nerves Mom. Both of them. R thinks he's too good to be here, and P is not as much fun without Jim.
Pam: Michael, we can hear you.
Michael Scott: I'm on the phone, please. Mom, I'm gonna have to call you back. P's being a giant B.

Michael Scott: They always say that it is a mistake to hire your friends and they are right! So, I hired my best friends. And this is what I get?

Michael Scott: That's my corner.
Pam: I thought that was your corner.
Michael Scott: No, this is where I work. I can't relax in the same corner where I work.
Pam: So my corner's the one with the copier?
Michael Scott: Pam, I don't make the rules.

Creed: These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Michael Scott: These are shaped like paper.
Creed: Well, I don't even want these.
Meredith: I'll take them for my kid.

Michael Scott: I once had a dream. That I was eating a peanut butter and tuna fish sandwich. And, let me tell you something, it was delicious. So the next day, I decided to make that sandwich. And in real life it is disgusting. [the phone rings] It is a disgusting sandwich. [phone rings again] And the reason I tell you this story- Just, pick up the phone.

Michael Scott: Who would have thought, that the thing that would save this company would be work? And pancakes? In the end, this day definitely had its ups and downs. I realize that we don't have the biggest office. Which is a surprise, because 165 square feet sounds like a lot. But, we have people with the biggest hearts. And I think for a small company that is really [flushing]... Someone went to the bathroom. That is really what's important.

Toby: [overheard from bathroom] "Not much? What's up with you? Nah it's okay. I'm in the bathroom. Hey you been watching Damages this year? It's so good. No, you gotta tune in, it's as good as anything on HBO. [sound of urine flow] Hey does blue go with tan?"
Michael Scott: Would someone just make the copy?
Toby: I have like, like a blue shirt? I don't wear a lot of colors, I have a lot of tan. Uh huh.
Michael Scott: Just make that copy okay?

Michael Scott: I would like to invite you all to come away with me, on a journey. [tears down welcome ribbon] Welcome to the Michael Scott Paper Company!