Jim: We have a lot to do, and you are putting up a very effeminate sign. Is that what you've been doing?
Dwight K. Schrute: It's not effeminate. It's festive.
Jim: You've been making that for something that we can just announce to the office? Hey, everybody, the party's now at 3:00.
Stanley: I know, I just read it on the sign.

Michael Scott: Good morning, Viet Nashua! Sales. Sales is what "bwings" us together today. How do we deal with clients who say, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn about paper," and get them to show us the money? Well, we are going to find out today. Show of hands. How many of you are salesmen? Let's see the salesmen. Ooh, okay. Well, I know what the rest of you are thinking. Wow, yuck. Salesmen are the worst. They are awful. They are so arrogant. They think the whole place revolves around them. Handsome. Good listeners. Funny. Mr.
Wonderful. So, okay, you're a salesman. What's your name?
A.J.: A.J.
Michael Scott: What kind of name is A.J.? What, do you race cars?
A.J.: I'm a salesman. That's why I raised my hand.
Michael Scott: Ooh, ouch. Okay, good. You're funny. Very good and funny. Tell me, A.J. Are you dating? Is there somebody you date?
A.J.: Yeah. Why, are you interested?

Woman: I have a question about discounts from distributors.
Michael Scott: Yep. We will get to you. Okay, so you're dating somebody. Um. Is it serious?
A.J.: It's pretty serious, yees.
Michael Scott: Does she ever talk about me?
A.J.: Excuse me?
Guy: What does this have to do with sales?
Michael Scott: It's all connected. Shut up. Does she ever mention Michael Scott?
A.J.: No. What are you talking about?
Michael Scott: Does it feel good?
A.J.: Does what feel good?
Michael Scott: Your life. [sitting down] Oh, wow. Legs are sort of giving out. Long drive in the car. So let's just- We'll just continue. [sighs, falls to the floor] Oh, wow. Okay.

Michael Scott: I went through Holly's things.
Pam: What?
Michael Scott: I stole a sleeve of her sweater.
Pam: Oh, Michael.
Michael Scott: I also stole something off of her computer. A document called "Dear Michael."
Pam: You did what?
Michael Scott: I shouldn't have done it. It just- I couldn't help it.
Pam: She never sent it to you?

Pam: No. Under no circumstances can you read that letter. It's a violation of her trust.
Michael Scott: How?
Pam: Because she didn't sent it to you.
Michael Scott: I know. I know. You're right.
Pam: I could read it.
Michael Scott: No, that wouldn't-
Pam: Yeah, I could read it.
Michael Scott: You don't have to do that.
Pam: Go get your laptop.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Pam: [to camera] What? I'm not in love with her.

Pam: It's deleted.
Michael Scott: Well?
Pam: She still has feelings for you.
Michael Scott: She said that? Is that what it said? What did it say?
Pam: I can't tell you specifically, but it's not over.
Michael Scott: You're sure?
[Pam nods her head]

Kelly: This doesn't look good.
Jim: What? You have a cake. You have a delicious cake with your name spelled correctly?
[Kelly shakes her head]
Dwight K. Schrute: Told you.
Jim: You haven't heard our theme, though.
Kelly: You don't hear a theme. You see it. Why is there a chiclet on my cake?
Jim: That's the best part. It represents a pillow or a television.
Dwight K. Schrute: Our theme, if you will-
Jim: Because the fun part is you decide on an hour of television or an hour of napping.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's our theme.
Kelly: Cool.
Jim: Yeah?
Kelly: I love it.

Dwight K. Schrute: So what's it gonna be, Kapoor?
Kevin: Can she pick a half hour of each?
Jim: No.
Kevin: Then pick TV.
Meredith: Take a nap.
Oscar: TV.
Kevin: No, watching TV at work is really cool.
Stanley: Take a nap. Nothing good is on right now.
Creed: Bonnie Hunt is on.
Kelly: Yeah, I have been watching TV all week. I choose nap.

Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, you've got one hour.
Kelly: I'm too excited to sleep.

Michael Scott: I feel great. So good to have closure. Ah! We should go apologize to Roy or something.
Pam: No, we don't need to.
Michael Scott: Who have I wronged? Who have I wronged? Oh, oh! What about that fat guy from Stamford that insulted? We should find him.
Pam: You mean Tony.
Michael Scott: Jabba the Hutt. Pizza the Hut. Fat guys like pizza. Pepperoni pizza. Pepperoni Tony.
Pam: Michael.
Michael Scott: Man, was he fat. So, so fat. You know what, forget it. I know me. When I saw him, I'd never be able to apologize to him. Too fat. Big fat fatty