Oscar: I want to get that image out of my head. The psychological issues that go behind licking a cat are not things I want to go into. Also, I'm pretty sure she coughed up a hairball.

Dwight K. Schrute: You have to write my suggestions down too.
Jim: I'm not writing "horse hunt." I don't even know what that means.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's in the name.
Jim: Okay. So far our ideal party consists of beer, fights to the death, cupcakes, blood pudding, blood, touch football, mating, charades, and yes, horse hunting.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're right. Forget horse hunting, it's stupid.

Dwight K. Schrute: Schrutes don't celebrate birthdays, idiot. It started as a depression-era practicality, and then moved on to an awesome tradition that I look forward to every year.

Jim: Actually, when I was seven, my dad took me to the Natural History Museum in New York. We looked at fossils all day. And at the end of the day, he got me a little plastic triceratops. It was awesome.
Dwight K. Schrute: That's cool. You know what's even cooler than triceratops? Every other dinosaur that ever existed!
Jim: Didn't see that one coming.

Dwight K. Schrute: [banging trash can lids together] Birthday time is over! Go make up for all the work you missed when you were taking your nap. Many happy returns.

Pam: So detour. We're adding Nashua to the lecture circuit so Michael can confront Holly and get some closure. Nashua sounded very excited on the phone. I don't think they get a lot of visitors. Because their office is only accessible by cross-country skis. Hey-oh! I've been driving too long.

Jim: Hey. What the hell's going on?
Dwight K. Schrute: Why don't you tell Jim where you were from ages 14 to 15?
Kelly: I was kickin' it.
Dwight K. Schrute: In juvie.
Jim: What?
Dwight K. Schrute: Juvie nile detention center.
Jim: Yep.
Dwight K. Schrute: Where they send teenagers for-
Jim: Got it.
Dwight K. Schrute: What did you do?

Kelly: I hate it.
Jim: How do you hate it? It's a cake.
Kelly: Well, there's no flowers or toys or- There's nothing on it. Where did you even find a cake like this? I mean, it doesn't have my name on it. Do you know what my name is? My name is Kelly!
Jim: Right.
[later to camera:]
Jim: I forgot if there was an "e" between the "l" and the "y." I still don't know.

Kelly: I don't even know what the theme is. What's the theme?
Jim: Birthday.
Dwight K. Schrute: Frosting.
Kelly: Those aren't themes. There's always a theme.
Phyllis: There's always a theme.
Dwight K. Schrute: Nice job on the cake, Bozo.
Jim: Okay, next time, I'll let you get the cake, and I'll scream at the birthday girl.

Michael Scott: She has a boyfriend.
Pam: I'm so sorry, Michael.
Michael Scott: How could she do this to me, Pam?
Pam: She's not doing it to hurt you.
Michael Scott: I can't do the presentation. I can't. Just- Oh. Thinking about seeing him and thinking about him getting to hold her and getting to kiss her. It's just- Wow.
Pam: Listen, when Jim was dating Karen, I didn't want to come to work. It was awful. I hated it. I wanted to quit, but-
Michael Scott: Please, come on, I'm going through something, okay?
Pam: You know, when Holly gets back, everyone'll tell her what a great job you did. And then she'll realize what she's missing.
Michael Scott: And then she'll move back to Scranton. And her boyfriend will die.
Pam: Yeah. Maybe. Maybe. One step at a time. You can do this.
Michael Scott: I can do this.