Karen: Jim's nice enough. I don't know how well he's fitting in here. He's always looking at the camera, like this. What is that?

Jim: Now you stay here and have fun 'cause I'm going to go out back and shoot hoops with David Wallace.
Karen: Okay. Don't mention that you and I are dating 'cause I think he might still have feelings for me.
Jim: Wallace? What the hell? Have you dated, like, every guy here? [Karen smiles at Jim] Wow. Okay. You got me.
Karen: I so got you.
Jim: So none of them?
Karen: Of course not. I mean you're, kind of, like, my first.
Jim: Really?
Karen: Oh, my God, it's so easy it's not even fun.

Karen: I am the regional manager of Dunder-Mifflin Utica branch. Turns out it's a pretty easy gig when your boss isn't an idiot and your boyfriend's not in love with somebody else.

Karen: When I heard Jim and Pam had kissed, my reaction was to have lots of long talks with Jim about our feelings. Roy just attacked him. I'm not sure which one Jim hated more.

Karen: I cried for weeks over that guy, so yeah, seeing him climb out of a PT Cruiser in a ladies warehouse uniform felt pretty good.

Pam: So, when are you due?
Karen: In about a month.
Pam: Wow. That is wonderful. Congratulations.
Karen: Thank you. It just all happened so fast.
Michael Scott: It's really amazing. Congratulations, Karen. So, is there a guy or a person or a sperm machine that did this to you or?
Karen: Yes, Michael. My husband impregnated me. His name is Dan. This is us. So dorky.
Pam: He's cute.
Karen: He's a dermatologist. We met at a bar. Can you believe that?
Pam: What is happening there?
Karen: Yeah. Don't even. That's really dorky.
Pam: It's really sweet.
Michael Scott: No, it's really dorky. You were right the first time.

Karen: Look how cute he is. And he's trying to shoot with a smoke grenade.
Jim: I'm sorry, what are you whispering about me?
Karen: No, nothing. Just concentrate on turning around.
Jim: Yeah, I'm trying, I just-
Karen: Just tap "S" then "D."
Jim: Oh.
Karen: Any last words? No?
Jim: What? Wow! Psychopath.

Jim: [on the phone] Hey, where you at, Filippelli?
Karen: I'm at the grocery store buying a corkscrew to give myself a lobotomy.
Jim: What's wrong, you didn't have a good first day?
Karen: Oh, my God!

Angela: What is that? "The Committee to Plan Parties invites you "to a Margarita-Karaoke-Christmas"? There's no such thing as the Committee to Plan Parties.
Pam: There is now. We just started it.
Angela: Well, you can't just start a committee. You have to have funding.
Karen: What's your funding?
Angela: Two hundred dollars.
Pam: What's ours again?
Karen: Two hundred and one dollars.

Karen: Dwight, what is that on your stomach? Is that a Muppet Babies tattoo?
Jim: Oh, my God, Karen, you're right. That is Animal from the Muppet Babies.
Dwight K. Schrute: You can't see my stomach.