Jim: Maybe if you make fun of yourself it'll all go away.
Michael Scott: I want to make fun of you right now.
Jim: Really? Do it. I am a big, stupid goofball.
Michael Scott: No. Don't do that. You're not. You're not stupid.
Jim: See?
Michael Scott: Oh, my God.

Jim: Oscar, yes. You're right to stop it. Thank you. Eject it.
Oscar: Jim, you let Michael fall in.
Dwight K. Schrute: Play it again. He purposefully leaned away and let you fall in.
Jim: Oh... man. I think when I started to see you go in I think I just froze.
Michael Scott: I don't think you froze.
Jim: It's a killer new dance move. [leans back] Do you wanna talk in your office?
Angela: No.
Jim: I didn't ask you. [to Michael] Would you like to talk?
Dwight K. Schrute: Judas!

Angela: No, it really seems like something Michael would do.
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Well, the fact that you would think that points to the possibility that it is probably not me. And that I have been framed.
Andy: Why would anyone frame you for that?
Jim: Okay, I'm sorry, why are we discounting this whole "Woody came to life" thing so quickly?

Pam: Where?
Jim: Okay, fine, three hints. One, when you are getting colder, you're really getting warmer.
Pam: The fridge.
Jim: Two, you have a better chance, if you think Bob Vance.
Pam: The fridge, got it.
Jim: And the final clue...
Michael Scott: Let's go!
Jim: You know what, just think about it, you'll be fine.
Pam: Bye.

[Jim notices a stand poking out of Dwight's pants]
Dwight K. Schrute: What are you doing? Give that back. Come on!
Jim: Prank! [throws money from Dwight's wallet on the floor]
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's real creative.
Jim: You know what, it's not my best. Because you could just easily bend over and pick it up right?
Dwight K. Schrute: I could, but I just don't feel like it loser.
Jim: Because you're sitting?
Dwight K. Schrute: Standing.
Jim: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't!
Jim: Because you're sitting?
Dwight K. Schrute: Standing.
Jim: You know I have to do this.
Dwight K. Schrute: I know. [knocks Dwight over]

Cathy: Is this March Madness? I love March Madness.
Jim: Oh, no, that's not this 'cause that's in... March.

Jim: I'm really sorry, uh, I just have to say it. I'm- I'm married. I'm very happily married.
Cathy: Oh my God, what are you thinking?
Jim: Um... I mean-
Cathy: I know that you're married, I sat at your wife's desk. How little do you think of me?
Jim: I'm sorry, I feel like maybe I'm-I'm I misread things. Okay, let's just go back to watching.
Cathy: Can you... without running to the other side of the room all night?
Jim: Yes, I can. [Cathy laughs] Uh, all right. I'm really sorry. I think we'll just... We'll just watch. You can watch, not watch, whatever you want to do. Take another shower, I don't care.
Cathy: Okay. [Sits next to Jim] I am so cold.

Jim: A futon? He's a grown man.
Pam: That's what he said.
Jim: That's sad. Or it's innovative. Well, you know the futon is a bed and couch all rolled into one.

Karen: What are you doing here?
Jim: First of all, hi.
Karen: What are you doing here?
Jim: You good? I'm just checking on the other branches. Michael wants me to do that from time to time, so-
Dwight K. Schrute: [on walkie-talkie] Do not tell Karen about the industrial copier.
Jim: Copy that.

Jim: Toby's great. He's great. But sometimes he can be a little bit much. "I don't see the harm in that." Well it's a cake, Toby. So, come on.