Jan: Why is this so hard? That's what she said. Oh, my God, what am I saying?

Jan: I am taking a calculated risk. What's the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. Downside? I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse in on myself like a dying star.

Jan: People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.

Jan: [singing] Being good isn't always easy No matter how hard I try When he started sweet-talking to me He'd come and tell me everything is all right He'd kiss and tell me everything is all right. Can I get away again tonight The only one

Jan: Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now, I know this might sound silly, but many women ask to go over it, so, "fumble" means-
Phyllis: Mistake.
Meredith: Slip.
Jan: Right. "Par for the course" is a golf term. It means "right on track." "Below par" means "worse." Wait. That should mean better. That doesn't make sense.

Jan: So, I forgot to tell you that I need the car tonight.
Michael Scott: Actually, I need the car.
Jan: Why? For improv? Why don't you just pretend that you have a car? Good practice in case you ever do a scene where you need to pretend you have a car.

Diane Kelly: Mr. Scott, this is a copy of a particularly negative performance review. Would you mind reading the date on that, please?
Michael Scott: March 17th.
Diane Kelly: And that would be a month after your relationship became official. Is that correct?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Diane Kelly: You may read the highlighted portion out loud, if you'd like to.
Michael Scott: "I'm out of carrots. I'm out of sticks. Mr. Scott has time and again proven himself to be an unmanageable employee and a poor branch manager. I recommend he be removed from that position and reassigned to sales, where he belongs."
Diane Kelly: After hearing that, wouldn't you say that Ms. Levinson's judgment is at least very seriously flawed? Mr. Scott?

Pam: So you have an office and a work space?
Jan: I do, you know. I just- I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I'm sure that you're the same with your doodles.

Jan: [to Clark] Do you have a valid passport?

Pam: And it is so cute how she signs her name.
Jan: [chuckles] Well, that- That was- That was me, too.
Pam: Oh, okay. It's just that's how Cece does it with the backwards ‘E's.
Jan: Cece can't spell her name.
Pam: Oh, actually she can.
Jan: Well, it's not really much of a comparison, is it? I mean, "Cece" is two letters and "Astrid" is... I mean, there's even some adults who- who- who can't spell it.
Pam: Of course.
Jan: Can you spell it? Try to spell it, Pam.
Pam: Um... "A"... "X"? I don't- You got me.
Jan: Don't patronize me.
Pam: [whispering] I'm so sorry. I hate this. You're better.