‘Health Care’
Season 1, Episode 3 - Aired April 5, 2005
When Michael is asked to make a tough decision about the company's health care plan, he delegates the job to Dwight, who welcomes the opportunity to aggressively cut costs.
Quote from Kevin
Oscar: He literally won't come out of his office.
Kevin: He's gotta come out sometime. To go to the bathroom!
Angela: Kevin. That's inappropriate.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Well, once you get down into the mine, what have you got? Laser Tag or something?
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Okay, so I don't know what the surprise is. Am I worried? No. No way. See, I thrive on this. This is my world. This is improv. This is Whose Line Is It Anyway?
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Hey, temp. Why don't you take two? Because you don't get health care. And faster metabolism.
Ryan: Did you get the kind with the cookies, instead of the-
Michael Scott: Why don't you just eat it, okay?
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Well, okay. See you guys on Monday.
Angela: What about the surprise?
Michael Scott: Oh, yes. Exactly. Thank you, Angela, for reminding me. Terrific. Um. Before I tell everybody what the big surprise is, would you like to tell me what you think the big surprise is?
Stanley: We all think you don't have a surprise.
Michael Scott: All right, I have some news for you. There is a big surprise. And here it is. Here we go. And the big surprise is... Brrrrrrrr! Drum roll. Brrrrrrrr! Brrrrrrrr! ... God, yeah ... Ah! This... [people file out]
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, um, Jan wants you to call her.