TV Quotes

Andy: Why even read business books? We should be studying war. Going to places like Gettysburg. Where is that?
Erin: It's right here in PA.
Andy: Oh. Well we should take a field-trip there. I mean, that would be so cool. I wonder if that bus downstairs is-
Angela: Okay, Andy, we get it. It's a trip to Gettysburg.
Andy: That sounds super inspiring! I'm in!

Andy: I mean, I can't force you to go. You're not my slaves. Thanks to Gettysburg. But... who's coming with me?
Erin: I'm in.
Phyllis: I'm in, too.
Dwight K. Schrute: Guess I'm a sucker for historical fiction.
Andy: Anyone who's not going, you're dead to me. You're uninvited. I don't want you to come. But, FYI, there will be leftover turkey and pesto sammies in the fridge.
Kevin: Yes!

Andy: All right, guys, a little foreplay before we do it. Fans of Ken Burns' Jazz will most certainly enjoy Civil War.
Darryl: You know, I just got Limitless on my iPad. I bet I could get it on the TV.
Phyllis: Ooh. Isn't that the one where the guy becomes limitless?
Andy: It's just not appropri- I mean, if we were going to visit Bradley Cooper's birthplace, I'd be the first one suggesting it. I'd be rooting for it.
All: Limitless! Limitless! Limitless! Limitless!

Andy: Woo-hoo! Ladies and gentlemen the eighteen hundreds await you. We can watch Limitless on the way back.
Darryl: I got Source Code on the way back.

Jim: By the way, did we leave all the food on the bus?
Andy: Let's talk about food for a second. Food for thought.
Jim: Yeah, that's what I had for breakfast and I think that's probably why I'm still hungry.

Andy: Exactly. Now do you know the Civil War soldiers were hungry for? Pride! Now, each battalion had its own flag and they guarded these flags with their lives. Colonel Harrison Jeffords of the Fourth Michigan Infantry saw his flag being carried away, chased it down with nothing but a sword. Fought tooth and nail at the foot of that flag until he died. He wasn't about to let them have that flag. Pride. Right, guys? [holds up flag] I commissioned this flag for Dunder Mifflin. Cost me two hundred dollars.
Jim: Only two hundred dollars?
Andy: We are all branches on this tree. And from the tree comes paper. We're all part of a business. But business is war. What's that I hear? Uh, a rebel paper company is coming to take our flag! Wha- What's going on here? Wee-hoo! Come and get it! Who's gonna get the flag? Who's getting it? Whoa! Hey! Ho! Don't look where I am, look where I'm going. Juke right, juke left.
Darryl: Andy, this is inappropriate. People died here, man.
Andy: Get the flag! Get the flag! Come on, Big Tuna. What you gonna do about it? We got a flag right here. Wee-hoo!

Andy: You guys came. Where's everyone else?
Darryl: Back at the bus. We were locked out. Phyllis is sitting on the ground eating a dirty sandwich.
Andy: Yeah, I asked the bus driver to lock it because our stuff was in there. I guess he follows orders.
Jim: Yeah, sorry everybody else didn't come. I think they're just tired. With holes in their shoes. And they have dysentery.
Andy: Even without an audience you're still at it.
Jim: What are you talking about?
Andy: Our office has a disease. And it goes by many names. Sarcasm. Snark. Wisecracks. You take things that people care about and you make them feel lame about it with your jokes. That's what you did with this trip.