Gabe: What I do not approve of, however, is public displays of affection, or PDAs. PDAs are totally superfluous to a happy, healthy office romance. Perfect example. Look at Jim and Pam.
Pam: Yeah. What? Us?
Gabe: They don't touch. They don't kiss. You would hardly even know that they were husband and wife.
Jim: Did it! [high fives Pam]
Pam: Yeah!

Dwight K. Schrute: How do I become a manger at Sabre?
Gabe: First thing's first, thank you for coming to me directly. I know you could have called Tallahassee but they would've just looped back to me, so, it's cool you recognized my role here.
Dwight K. Schrute: I left a message at corporate.
Gabe: Ah. There you go. Get a recommendation from Michael. That'll put you right on the shortlist for next time there's an opening.
Dwight K. Schrute: Can't you just use the recommendation you already have on file?
Gabe: What recommendation?
Dwight K. Schrute: From when he recommended me to replace him.
Gabe: ... Um... I'm sorry, I never know how to act in these awkward-type situations.

Gabe: Well, this is embarrassing. Um, I'm obviously really angry at Erin. Here comes that quarter life crisis everyone's talking about. Alright, I'm gonna go. [Dwight plays cricket noises]

Gabe: Stay away from Erin.
Andy: Hey.
Gabe: I'm your boss.
Andy: Why don't you, uh, stay away from me?
Gabe: No, I'm gonna stand where I want, okay? You don't want to get on my bad side. I've seen some horrible things. I own over 200 horror movies.
Andy: Okay, that's so weird! Just go away!
Gabe: No, you go away.

Darryl: Who knows what the belt is for?
Gabe: It's for protecting my ass. When you suckers lift more than you can handle. Sup, I'm Gabe. Corporate. Continue. Don't be nervous.
Darryl: Apparently we have a visitor. Gabe, everyone.

Gabe: I get the sense that Val enjoys a good put down. Considering that's the only thing I know about her. I will be milking that hard.

Gabe: It's like a hula hoop. Right. Mele Kalikimaka is the wise way.
Darryl: You done?
Gabe: The Michelin man called, he wants his cummerbund back.

Ryan: So word on the street is she has a boyfriend.
Gabe: Well, he's probably a drug dealer. That's the best way to land a hot girlfriend. You just, uh, get her hooked on blow. [sniffs]

Gabe: Fun fact. In France, they call Limitless 'The Man with Many Capabilities.'

Gabe: Abe and Mary are seated watching the show. [as Lincoln] Oh, Mary this is wonderful. Okay, Mary stop your scolding. I'll be quiet. [aside to the audience] I need her like I need a hole in the head! [Gabe mimes a gunshot with his finger] Bang! Ooh [Gabe falls to the ground as the crowd applauds]