Michael Scott: That's what she said.
Dwight K. Schrute: [laughs] I don't get it.
Michael Scott: Grapes, seductive.

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, they're having a sale on TiVo. Maybe I should get a TiVo. Ooh, DVD burner. Maybe I should get one of those. You are so lucky, Jim. You're so lucky you don't have this problem. What was the ninth-place prize again? A loaf of bread?
Jim: A Cugino's Pizza.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, great. Tasty, terrific pizza. Question: Do their pizzas play DVDs?

Jim: Dwight was the top salesman of the year at our company. He wins a little prize money and gets honored at some convention. It is literally the highest possible honor that a Northeastern Pennsylvania-based mid-sized paper company regional salesman can attain. So...

Pam: I have a ton of stuff to do for the wedding. And I have to do it in the office. And that can be kind of awkward. Just because people can get all weird about wedding stuff and I just- I don't want to offend Angela or someone.

Michael Scott: Speaker at the sales convention. Been there, done that. Went there again, did it again. Two years in a row. Consecutive. I just I miss the feeling of knowing that you did a good job because somebody gives you proof of it. "Sir, you're awesome. Here's a plaque. " What, a whole year has gone by and you need more proof? "Here's a certificate." They stopped making plaques that year.

Dwight K. Schrute: I can't do this.
Michael Scott: That's because you're incapable of doing it, because you don't know how, because you have no skills. Dwight, there's no way I can possibly teach you what you need to know about public speaking by speech time.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, okay. But I can teach you enough so that you don't embarrass me or the company.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, deal. I'll do whatever you say, no questions asked.
Michael Scott: Well, if you have a question, you should ask me.
Dwight K. Schrute: I'll try and think of one. When-
Michael Scott: Don't try to think of a question to humor me. Just try not to be such an idiot.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that an insult, or is that part of the public speaking advice?
Michael Scott: Insult.

Oscar: I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do. But I don't care.

Michael Scott: Look, it doesn't matter what you say, it just matters that you're saying something that people care about. You know? All right, here we go. Watch this. Attention, everybody! Attention, please! I have some very great news from corporate. We had a wonderful quarter. And as a result, all of you are getting bonuses for $1,000.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah!
Michael Scott: Congratulations.
Pam: Unbelievable.
Oscar: It's great.
Pam: Wow.
Michael Scott: You see that? You see how they responded to me? That's amazing. In that moment, I had them.
Dwight K. Schrute: That is so great about the bonus.
Michael Scott: No, no, it's not true. I was just talking.

Michael Scott: All right, we're all gonna go around the room, and we're going to make toasts. And that way, we will overcome our fear of public speaking.
Pam: You mean toastmasters?
Michael Scott: Pam! I'm public speaking, stop public interrupting me! Actually, this would be good practice for your wedding toast.
Pam: Yeah, the bride doesn't really do- Have you ever been to a wedding?

Jim: So, I am going on a trip. But I'm not really sure where I'm going yet. It's kind of open-ended. So, I was hoping maybe you guys would have some suggestions.
Kevin: You should go to Hedonism.
Jim: What is that?
Kevin: It's like Club Med, but everything is naked.