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Season 8, Episode 6 -  Aired November 3, 2011

After Robert urges Andy to improve the branch's execution, Dwight installs an accountability device that will trigger a doomsday scenario if the employees make five mistakes in one day.

Quote from Darryl

Gabe: Hey Darryl, I was thinking, uh, maybe while we read through this, uh, you could grab us all some coffee. My treat. It's a hundred dollar bill. Should cover it I think. Don't bring me any of that caramel soy latte crap, okay? I want a decaf frappuccino. Val...
Darryl: Actually, Val, why don't you come with? I'll need the extra hands to carry them back.
Val: Yeah, sure.
Gabe: Uh.
Darryl: Mmm-hm. [points at Gabe] Caramel soy latte.
Gabe: No, decaf frap.
Darryl: Got it.


Quote from Stanley

Andy: Gah! That's five strikes.
Stanley: [pulls out a bottle of Brandy] Well, I was saving this for my retirement, which I guess is today.

Quote from Erin

Erin: [to Dwight] You're a real crumb bum, you know that?

Quote from Dwight K. Schrute

Dwight K. Schrute: Andy back me up here, please.
Andy: N- No!
Dwight K. Schrute: What?
Andy: No!
Oscar: Dwight, be human for once. Shut down the machine.
Kelly: Shut it down! Shut it down! Shut down the machine! [Erin screams] Shut it down! Shut it down!
Dwight K. Schrute: Good luck finding a new job, idiots. I'll make sure to write you a glowing reference. Glowingly negative.

Quote from Andy

Erin: Dwight's car is gone.
Pam: I bet he went home.
Andy: Some of us should go there and talk some sense into him. Get him to stop that email.
Andy: Pam, you should come with me. Dwight really likes you and your breasts are enormous that could help us.
Kevin: Yeah.
Andy: Kevin has that lovability.
Kevin: Guys come on. I'm right here.

Quote from Erin

Andy: Jim, I want you to go find Robert just be where he is in case that email goes out at five. You can try to delete it or something.
Jim: Okay, where is he?
Erin: Uh, he's at some club where you either eat squash or play squash.
Jim: I'll try both.

Quote from Jim

Robert: I'll see you next week, Will. [at the club, playing squash]
Jim: Robert?
Robert: Jim, what are you- What a surprise.
Jim: Yeah, well, you know just had a meeting. Squash meeting. [removes the original cover from his racket]
Robert: Yeah.
Jim: You up for a game?
Robert: A game or a match?
Jim: Exactly. Here we go. Let's do it.

Quote from Pam

Andy: Dwight, there's just a small matter of a-
Pam: You know what would go so great with this cabbage pie? Milk.
Dwight K. Schrute: Any specific animal?
Pam: I'm thinking cow-
Dwight K. Schrute: Don't say cow- Ugh.
Andy: What are you doing? It's 5 to 5.
Pam: Just don't talk about the email, okay? He's gonna cancel it on his own, I really think he will.
Andy: That's insane!
Pam: Just trust me.
Andy: Trust you, like I trusted Dwight this morning.
Pam: I got this.

Quote from Jim

Jim: Is that my phone?
Robert: Sounded like mine.
Jim: Nah, I think it's mine. Lemme just check real quick, here. Alright.
Robert: Well, it's mine. You took it out of my bag.
Jim: Oh, oh yeah.
Robert: Can I have it?
Jim: Yes. Right now? Yes.
Jim: Here you go. [throws it over]
Robert: Whoa, no, wait, wait, wait, whoa. [fails to catch the phone] [beep] Jesus.
Jim: Awww, sorry. Did it break?
Robert: Nah, it's good.
Jim: You sure?
Robert: Yeah.
Jim: What kinda iPhone is that?
Robert: It's the standard one. The one everyone has.
Jim: Oh yeah. I have the one that nobody has. Is there anything interesting?
Robert: It depends Jim. Do you find one-day only Jet Blue sales to Buffalo interesting?
Jim: Ha ha. No, I don't. No, I don't. Alright, well, I am sore and obviously horrible at this, so- [texting on his phone]
Robert: My serve!

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