[Dwight cuts open a seat cushion, finds playing cards]
Pete: What?
Oscar: What?
Kevin: That's a flush.
[Dwight emerges with a toy forklift in a plastic baggy]
All: The warehouse.
[later, all the employees are searching the warehouse]
Pam: [on phone to Jim] There's nothing down here.
Jim: Oh, I expected more from young Halpert.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let's just forget it. Forget it.
[Meanwhile, a warehouse worker dips a donut into the golden chalice]

Nellie: So, how are we getting on with our grand social media initiative?
Erin: Well, we created a fake profile for a really cool guy named Derek McBlack.
Nellie: Wow.
Erin: It's just Pete in sunglasses.
Nellie: Oh.
Erin: And then we had him "Like" Dunder Mifflin.
Pete: Then we created a bunch of fake friends for Derek, and we had all of them like Derek's likes.
Erin: So far, we're only popular with imaginary people, but we think this is the start of something big.

Erin: Pete and I work well together. Not that there's anything special about Pete. It could be any guy or girl. Not that I'm into girls. Not that I'm into Pete. Ugh! What was the question?

Dwight K. Schrute: Pfft, "Athlead"? Please. They're too lazy to call it Athletes Lead? Jim should just call it "Stumpany," for "Stupid Company."

Dwight K. Schrute: [on the phone] Hey, Halpert, what's the big idea? First you jump ship. Now you're stealing Darryl too. When will it end?
Jim: Well, take your worst fear and multiply it by infinity.
Dwight K. Schrute: You won't stop until you've poached us all.
Jim: Yeah. Even you.
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let us lose me.
Jim: Bye, Dwight.

Jim: [on the phone, to Cece] You're gonna do great. And you know what? Mommy's gonna record it. So we'll watch it together. Do you mind doing that, Pam?
Pam: Of course.
Jim: Okay. Are you sure you know how to do video on the phone?
Pam: Yes, Jim, I think I know how to point a rectangle at something.
Jim: Okay, okay, you know, just sometimes you're not the best with the phone.
Pam: I know how to operate my phone, okay? Listen, we're getting close. We will talk to you later. Say, "Bye, Daddy."
Cece: Bye, Daddy.
Jim: Bye. ... Yep. See, you've still got to press end, Pam.
Cece: Press end.

Pete: Oh, check it out. This is our first real like.
Erin: Oh, my gosh!
Pete: Oh! All right, Alan Olson from North Dakota. He also likes Hammermill and Georgia Pacific.
Erin: Wow. That guy's really into paper.

Dwight K. Schrute: Hey, everybody. Uh, coffee order is going around. On me. Just sign your name below. You're welcome.
Phyllis: Wait. This says "Dunder Mifflin Loyalty Pledge"?
Dwight K. Schrute: This- Uh, what? Double mocha latte, please? You got it. Just sign your name below. Whatever you want.
Oscar: "Loyalty pledge"?
Darryl: Come on, Dwight, stop overreacting. I'm getting all my work done here. No customers have complained. Nobody even knows.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, we'll see about that.

Dwight K. Schrute: Bust out your complaint files. I need everything you've got on Darryl since he started working for Jim in the last few weeks. Break it down by keyword, okay? "Infuriating, irresponsible"...
Clark: They got us set up with Windows 95, so you're kind of dreaming here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay, I'm gonna need you to print it out.
[Dot matrix printer begins to print very loudly and very slowly]

Dwight K. Schrute: Not even close. Mr. Romanko has been a client for 20 years. He came in today in a rage. Why? Because of Darryl. Because Darryl was focusing on outside projects and needs to remember his first priority: the client.
Mr. Romanko: I wouldn't say a rage.
Darryl: Mr. Romanko, we were a day late on one of your deliveries, but two of our trucks were down for repairs. It's very unlikely it would happen again.
Mr. Romanko: Thank you. Thank you.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, you're not going anywhere, okay? You are angry, and we are gonna hear you out, all right? Because business is about relationships, and the key to relationships is what, Darryl? L..
Darryl: Loyalty.