Michael Scott: People are always coming to me, "Michael, I have a secret. You're the only one I trust." No thanks, because keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like, I was watching Cinemax last weekend, this movie. Portrait of a Prostitute, or something. Secrets of a Call- More Secrets of a Call Girl. And the lead character, Shyla, is framed for murder, goes on the run, and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu. I don't- I don't wanna live like that. I like it here. I don't wanna be Shyla, I like being Michael Scott.