Clark: So for your menswear catalog, I think we can offer you some very competitive pricing.
Sam Stone, Sr.: I heard that before...
Clark: Well, I understand, but–
Dwight K. Schrute: I bet you have. He knows nothing about what people have heard before, my son.
Clark: Here we go again, another lecture from the old man.
Sam Stone, Sr.: Listen to him. He created you.
Dwight K. Schrute: Maybe if you listened a little bit, you'd improve. No wonder women despise you.
Clark: Women don't despise me.
Dwight K. Schrute: oh. His last girlfriend was a transvestite. I knew it right away. Adam's apple like the prow of a ship, thumbs like a lowland gorilla. Ha, but this one couldn't see it, or didn't wanna see it.
Clark: Alright, that's enough, ‘cause I can say some things about him, too.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah? Like what?
Clark: Like the time that you got drunk and, and then... killed those kids on their way to prom!
Dwight K. Schrute: That never happened. He's always been a liar. Ever since he was a little kid and ge got caught "saving treats" from the kitty litter box.
Sam Stone, Sr.: Really shameful...
Clark: So we can offer you matte or glossy printing-
Dwight K. Schrute: Glistening brown morsels tumbling from every pouch in his trousers.
Clark: There's obviously a volume discount uh, if you-
Dwight K. Schrute: Following the cat around on his knees with his hands cupped beneath its tail, going "Please kitty, may I have some more?" You can't make this stuff up!
Clark: No, I think someone could make it up. Someone with very few friends.