Michael Scott: Dwight, I don't own Dunder Mifflin, okay? The job was not mine to give. Look, I need your advice on something. I am told that there are bears in the Rockies.
Dwight K. Schrute: Where did you hear that? Obvious XM radio?
Michael Scott: Well, I was just thinking that maybe I should keep a salami in my pocket...
Dwight K. Schrute: Great idea.
Michael Scott: In order to feed the bears.
Dwight K. Schrute: Especially if you think that life would be better without legs!
Michael Scott: How do you mean?
Dwight K. Schrute: Black bears can smell a salami at five Miles, Michael. What are you thinking? And they run faster than a horse. So if you were thinking about outrunning them on a horse, I would try a cheetah. You in tight pants, Michael, are a salami to a black bear. Do you understand?
Michael Scott: Mm-hmm.
Dwight K. Schrute: You're like a giant walking salami.
Michael Scott: Okay, so no salami in the pants. How about a pepperoni?
Dwight K. Schrute: Any kind of meat you can possibly name. Okay.