Michael Scott: Okay, everybody, I've figured it out. The reason that you are all so stressed around me is that you are too intimidated to tell me what you really think. You are keeping these feelings inside, and that is what's causing stress. So, what is the solution? Solution is honesty, laughter, and comedy. In short-
Kelly: A vacation.
Michael Scott: Eh- What? No. No, I am talking about a roast! Of Michael Scott! Oh c'mon! Who here has the Comedy Central Roast channel? You've seen it right? Everybody gets together, and you start hurling insults at the one guy, and everybody's laughing, and everybody's hugging each other.
Oscar: Michael are you serious? You really want us to roast you?
Michael Scott: [Mexican accent] Si senor.
Oscar: That's offensive.
Michael Scott: It's not! It's not offensive during a roast. Anything goes. I want you guys to really get cracking on this. I want you to take me down. Don't hold back. I want you to really make fun of anything about me. It could be my race, could be the fact that I'm so fit, or I'm a womanizer... fair game. Whatever. I don't want to write your stuff for you, but I just want it to be good.