Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Stress Relief
Michael Scott: Hi, everyone. Corporate has given Dwight two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Dwight, have you prepared your statement of regret? Dwight K. Schrute: I have. Michael Scott: Let's hear it. Dwight K. Schrute: [clears throat] "I state my regret." Jim: You couldn't have memorized that? Dwight K. Schrute: I could not, because I do not feel it. Okay, everyone. I am going to need you to sign this statement of regret as an acknowledgement that you heard it. Okay? Everyone come on up here. It's not a big deal. Phyllis: It is a big deal. You almost killed Stanley. Dwight K. Schrute: Yeah, right. I filled him full of butter and sugar for 50 years and forced him not to exercise. Now, take a lesson from Stanley and jog on up here and sign this, okay? Make a line. Just form a line right here. Sign it! Sign it now!