Jim: This came out really well. There you go.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is humongous. I am not a security threat. And my middle name is Kurt, not fart.
Jim: What did I write?

Dwight K. Schrute: God, God, God! No! No! Four years of malfeasance unreported. This cannot stand.
Michael Scott: Okay. Calm down.
Dwight K. Schrute: No, you calm down. Whose side is Toby on? Whose side are you on? Hey! Him or me? Him or me? I cannot work with Jim anymore. Either he goes or I go.
Michael Scott: Dwight. Stop.
Dwight K. Schrute: You choose! One of us is out of here by the end of today!

Dwight K. Schrute: Do the right thing here, Michael.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: I have served you loyally for years. I deserve this. You know I do.
Michael Scott: You know, your ID says you're a security threat.
Dwight K. Schrute: You have till 5:00.

Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, look, Jim. There's a sales manager position open in Stamford. Want me to call Jan and ell her you're interested? I could put in a good word for you 'cause I'll still be working here. Transfer. Transfer. Everybody! Transfer! Transfer! Transfer!

Pam: Angela, I want to talk to you about something.
Angela: What?
Jim: No, Pam.
Pam: I am. It's about the Save-the-Date.
Jim: Pam, it wasn't her.
Pam: What?
Jim: I'm the one who complained about you. I didn't know that Toby was going to write it down. I was just venting. You know, it was just It was one day. I took it right back. It was just like-
Pam: Okay.

Michael Scott: All right, Kevin. You are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Angela that made her feel uncomfortable. Solution: Angela, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to Kevin that will make him uncomfortable.
Kevin: I accept your decision.