Dwight K. Schrute: Gather round. Secret Santa, let's go. Let's go. Come on. Stanley, no. I'm gonna handle the cord. Okay, safety reasons.
Stanley: I know how to plug something in.

Michael Scott: Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, "Hey, man, I love you this many dollars' worth."

Ryan: Whoa, a video iPod.
Michael Scott: Whoa. Wow. Jeez. Somebody really got carried away with the spirit of Christmas. That was me.
I got carried away with the spirit.
Ryan: Wasn't there a $20 limit on the gift? This is 400 bucks.
Michael Scott: You don't know that.
Ryan: Yeah, you left the price tag on.
Michael Scott: I did?
Ryan: Yeah.
Michael Scott: What? Oh, shoot. Wow. Okay, well, who cares? It doesn't matter what I spent. What matters is that Christmas is fun, right?

Kevin: Uh, should we just keep opening up the presents?
Dwight K. Schrute: We don't do anything until Michael gives us further instructions.

Michael Scott: Everyone wants the iPod. It's a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle.

Roy: This is awesome.
Pam: I know. It's totally gonna change the way I work out.
Roy: Yeah, I was gonna get you one of these for Christmas, now I don't have to. I'm gonna save a ton of money.
Pam: So what are you gonna get me instead?
Roy: I don't know. Probably, like, a sweater or something.

Meredith: The deal is that this is my last hurrah, 'cause I made a New Year's resolution that I'm not gonna drink anymore during the week.

Michael Scott: Anybody making out in here? Not yet. Give it time.

Todd: Merry Christmas, asswipe.
Michael Scott: No way. Oh, you're kidding me. Packer! Yes! Todd Packer, ladies and gentlemen.
Todd: What's up, my nerds? Check it out!
Michael Scott: Oh, no, no. Oh, look at that. Icing on the cake.
Todd: Pacman need a drinky.

Ryan: Whose butt is that?
Kevin: Mine.
Ryan: Oh, how did I not guess that?