Toby: I got Angela. She is into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.

Michael Scott: So Phyllis is basically saying, "Hey, Michael, I know you did a lot to help the office this year but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth." I gave Ryan an iPod.

Michael Scott: I got it. We are going to turn Secret Santa into Yankee Swap.
Jim: What is Yankee Swap?
Michael Scott: One person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal someone else's gift or choose a new gift.
Jim: I thought that was called Nasty Christmas.
Pam: Yeah, we call it White Elephant.
Michael Scott: Well, I call it fun!

Kelly: Yikes.
Toby: Well, it's for Angela, so-
Kelly: That's, like, the creepiest thing that I've ever seen.
Dwight K. Schrute: Angela, you're up.
Angela: I'll take the poster. Some people like these.

Michael Scott: I hope nobody takes this baby, 'cause this is great. Wow, look at that fine craftsmanship. Somebody really put a lot of work into that. It's beautiful.
Meredith: I'll take the oven mitt.
Michael Scott: Sucker! See, I wanted somebody to take it. Boom! Reverse psychology.
[aside to camera:]
Michael Scott: Reverse psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically you make someone think the opposite of what you believe and that tricks them into doing something stupid.
Works like a charm.

Michael Scott: Last gift, Kevin.
Kevin: I want the foot bath.
[aside to camera:]
Kevin: That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. Maybe I should have taken the iPod. Oh, shoot.

Dwight K. Schrute: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets... Christmas.

Michael Scott: Unbelievable. I do the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for these people, and they freak out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.

Jim: I bought this teapot for Pam, and I know she really wants it. So, can I trade you for it?
Dwight K. Schrute: No trades.
Jim: Come on. It's a shamrock keychain. Good luck.
Dwight K. Schrute: "A real man makes his own luck." Billy Zane, Titanic.

Jim: Look it has sentimental value, Dwight. Can I buy it from you?
Dwight K. Schrute: No. I want it. I'm going to use it.
Jim: You don't even drink tea.
Dwight K. Schrute: True. But I get sinus infections, and sinus infections can be cured by making your tea from green tea leaf stems and pouring it directly into your nose, like so.
[aside to camera:]
Jim: To think that my gift to Pam will be used for that, it's a little too much to handle.