Erin: What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy, and then we all kill him, but first we take out like a hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy. I bet you guys like that idea don't you?
[aside to camera:]
Erin: I think that's what they're doing to me. I can't prove it, but I wanted to see their faces when I said it. I learned nothing.

Dwight K. Schrute: Owning a building is a war between the landlord and the tenant. Not a literal war, unfortunately, but I am using the same tactics. I've surrounded the enemy, and I'm slowly starving them. To save on electricity I've installed a timer and motion sensors on the lights. It's part of my green initiative. And by green, I mean money.

Michael Scott: My whole life I believed that America was number one. That was the saying. Not America is number two. England is number two. China should be like eight.

Stanley: Dwight, why is the toilet paper only half a ply?
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, I'm sorry, isn't that good enough for your anus? [looking at camera] Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.

Dwight K. Schrute: They say the best vampires don't bleed their victims dry, but give them the strength so that they can bounce back only to be fed on again. I spared Pam, and I may feast off of her profits for years to come. I let Pam win. Haha, oh. I was not motivated by compassion. I have no compassion. Make sure you got that. Not motivated by compassion.

Pam: This is possibly our new Dunder Mifflin office.
Phyllis: Well I like being in the same building as Bob. Keeps me honest.

Oscar: Don't worry about the coffee, it's on me.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I figured that.
Oscar: Michael, I am so happy that we were able to have this little chat.
Michael Scott: Wait. You forgetting something?
Oscar: What?
Michael Scott: This chat. Two men, one white, one latina. A boss and a money cruncher. I could fire you.
Erin: Fire him. No, show mercy.
Michael Scott: But here we are.
Oscar: What's your point?
Michael Scott: My point is... That as long as people like you and me don't stop talking, nobody can stop the USA.
Andy: Yeah. [clapping]
Erin: Right, yes.
Michael Scott: I am talking about freedom, about choice. America, I don't think you need to worry. Because if you want to beat China you will. If you don't, that's fine. That my friend, is your victory. Y'know, a lot of people say if you dig long enough and hard enough you will get to China, and that may be the true, but what they don't tell you is that if you dig long enough and hard enough in a conversation, you get to a friend. So here is to conversation.
Oscar: That's not.
Michael Scott: Raise your cups on high. Case closed.

Erin: Oh, my God.
Michael Scott: What?
Erin: According to the internet, the tallest man in the world is Chinese.
Michael Scott: So much for keeping our secrets up high.

[As Dwight picks up a pencil between his toes]
Jim: Why?
Dwight K. Schrute: Twenty minutes a day Jim, that's all it takes. Twenty minutes a day, all feet, no hands and I'll have the pedi-dexterity of a chimp, and you'll be sitting there like an idiot. [attempts to place pencil in pencil sharpener] Okay. Here we go. Ah, yes. [knocks items over onto Pam's desk]
Pam: Do you mind?
Dwight K. Schrute: I'm sorry, Pam, allow me to write you an apology letter.
Pam: You don't have to do that.
Dwight K. Schrute: [typing with his toes] D-E-A. Oops, backspace. A. Dear.
Jim: [places a cup of coffee on Dwight's desk] Ah, thank you hands. Nothing else in the universe can do what you do.
Dwight K. Schrute: [lifts cup up with toes]
Jim: Oh, don't worry about it. Dwight, its okay. You were wrong.
Dwight K. Schrute: [spills hot coffee all over himself] Uh, argh!
Jim: Well, A for effort right?
Dwight K. Schrute: [gives Jim a high five with his foot]

Michael Scott: Mmm. China. China.
Erin: How was the dentist?
Michael Scott: It was great. China.
Pam: Are you okay? What's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything here was made in China, Pam.
Andy: Yeah, it's where they make stuff.
Michael Scott: They used to make stuff in America, Andy. But we're falling behind, did you know that? China is a sleeping dragon that is just beginning to stir.
Erin: Oh, no.
Michael Scott: Yeah, right here. It is right there. [holds up a magazine] Anybody read the news any more?
Dwight K. Schrute: China is on the move?
Michael Scott: I found that in the waiting room at the dentist's office. This kid had the magazine I wanted to read, that's the only one I could reach and I read it and then I read it again.