Michael Scott: Okay, co-ed naked strippers in this office, for realsies.
Angela: Under no circumstance should a man strip off his clothes in this office.
Meredith: Shut up, Angela!

Pam: Never underestimate the power of a good night's sleep.
Jim: No, I'm sure you're right.
Pam: When I get eight hours compared to like, six hours, it's like, big difference.
Jim: Really?
Pam: Oh, yeah. You've got to get your REM cycle going with the whole sleeping better than not.
Jim: Good advice, Beesly. Thanks. See you out there?
Pam: Yeah. Don't fall asleep at your desk! Oh, my God.

Dwight K. Schrute: Ruddy cheeks, thick calves, no tats, no moles. No tats. No, tats. Of course, I want-
Jim: Stop. That's disgusting.
Dwight K. Schrute: Leave me alone and get the male stripper.

Jim: [on the phone] Okay, so they have Albert Einstein, Ben Franklin or SpongeBob SquarePants.
Michael Scott: SquarePants?
Jim: Yep, SpongeBob SquarePants.
Michael Scott: And you think that'd be sexy?

Ben Franklin: Hold the door, please! Thank you.
Michael Scott: Hello.
Ben Franklin: Hello.
Michael Scott: You wearing a thong?
Ben Franklin: What?

Michael Scott: Hello, ladies. Who, here, is a history buff? Who's a fan of buff naked? Without further ado, the one, the only, the sexy, Mr. Benjamin Franklin!
Ben Franklin: Thank you for that introduction, Mr. Scott! And good afternoon, fine gentlewomen of Dunder Mifflin.
Michael Scott: Half pants, right, Mr. Franklin?
Ben Franklin: Knickers, in fact. Yes.
Michael Scott: He's in his knickers. Mr. Franklin, I would say you are probably one of the sexiest presidents ever.
Ben Franklin: Well, actually, I never was President.
Michael Scott: Yes, but Ben Franklin was.

Jim: Have you ever seen a stripper before?
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes. Jennifer Garner portrayed one on Alias. It was one of her many aliases.
Jim: Yeah, me neither.

Elizabeth: Hi. I'm Elizabeth. I'm the dancer that was requested.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. I specifically ordered a stripper.
Elizabeth: I'm the stripper.
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, okay. Good. Well, in the future, please identify yourself as such.

Ben Franklin: It was a warm June evening in 1752, the night of my fateful kite flight-
Karen: Mr. Franklin?
Ben Franklin: Yes.
Karen: Do you have a girlfriend?
Ben Franklin: I have a lovely wife, Deborah.
Pam: But don't you also have girlfriends in Paris? Like, a lot of them?
Ben Franklin: Uh. Well, that is a gray area of my life. Okay? So it was a warm June evening...

Michael Scott: Look at that. Nothing like grilling in the great outdoors.
Ryan: Is it the same grill you grilled your foot on?
Michael Scott: No. Yes, but I got all the foot off of it.
Ryan: Oh, gross.