‘Baby Shower’
Season 5, Episode 4 - Aired October 16, 2008
Michael encourages the office to throw a baby shower for Jan, unaware she's already given birth.
Quote from Jan
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no. This is the birth story. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. [getting emotional] And I should have been there. I should have been there to witness this. I could have helped.
Jan: I know you're sad about this. And I wish that I, but- Would it help if you held Astrid for just a little bit?
Michael Scott: Uh, yeah.
Jan: I'm just going to lie down for a couple of minutes. I'm exhausted, so... Remind me to talk to you about Astrid's 529. Wake me in 20.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: I usually love babies, but when I held Astrid I just felt shortchanged.
Quote from Michael Scott
Jan: Michael, I need your help.
Michael Scott: I was just going to I was going to talk to Holly, about her hygiene. She smells like old tomatoes and dirt.
Jan: Oh, come on.
Quote from Jan
Jan: You know what? There is- There is one more thing that you can do for me. Don't date Holly.
Michael Scott: What? That's- I hate her. Why? God! Why would you even ask me to- I mean, not that it matters, 'cause I don't, but wha- Okay. All right. Fine.
Jan: Thanks for the baby shower.
Quote from Jim
Jim: [as Pam phones him and hits voice mail] Hey, it's Jim. Leave a message.
Pam: Hi.
Pam: [as Jim phones her at the same time and hits voice mail] Hi, this is Pam. Leave a message.
Jim: Hey, it's me. It is 5:03.
Pam: I figured I'd catch you walking to your car, but...
Jim: You must be out or something.
Pam: I'll leave a message.
Jim: Is it me, or are we just a little off today?
Pam: I guess this is just one of those days. It'll get better.
Jim: Hope you didn't have any major laundry issues.
Pam: I finished my laundry. Got all my socks. Nothing like that time that crazy guy pushed you.
Jim: Hey, you remember that time that I helped you do your laundry and that crazy guy came in and started yelling at you?
Pam: And then, remember, we went shopping the next day to buy me a washer and dryer?
Jim: Yet here you are, back in a Laundromat. Now, I'm just trying to help you, Beesly. Be safe.
Pam: You're probably upset that I'm even at a Laundromat right now. But, don't worry, I'm being safe. And I'm headed home. I'm headed to my dorm. Not home.
Jim: Wish you were home. Uh, anyway...
Pam: Anyway, um... I miss you.
Jim: I miss you.
Quote from Michael Scott
Michael Scott: Hello ladies, how is my shower going? Phyllis, did you get the live storks?
Phyllis: Um, no.
Michael Scott: Damn it, Phyllis! I'm sorry. [softly] Damn it, Phyllis. It was hard enough to convince Jan to come.
Quote from Pam
Pam: [on the phone] So you know Stacy, right?
Jim: Right. The one from England.
Pam: There's no one from England, Jim. Katie studied in Ireland. This is Stacy, the one who does the Maira Kalman-style collages.
Jim: Right, that style.
Pam: So, Stacy and Eric get to Bogre's DeTech half an hour early so they don't have to sit on the slab. Anyway, Bogre's TA Sarah Kaya comes in.
Jim: Wait, who's Sarah Kayacombsen?
Pam: No, Sarah Kaya comes in. Don't interrupt, I have like 30 sec to finish this and get to DigiPres.
Jim: Okay, okay.
Pam: So Sarah Kaya says to Eric, "No way. You can't reserve seats." And Stacy gets all up in her face and Sarah picks up Stacy's new PM pad and throws it at the light box.
Jim: No way!
Pam: Yes!
Jim: That's hilarious?
Pam: No, it was horrible! Jim, she might get arrested.
Jim: Who, Stacy?
Pam: No, Stacy is a boy! Urgh. Frustrating. Why can't you just be in art class with me? Oh, wait, I gotta go, class starting.
Jim: OK, I'll ta- [disconnects] I'll talk to you later. That was a good story.
Dwight K. Schrute: Who's Sarah Kayacombsen?