Angela: I'm not gaining anything from this seminar. I'm a professional woman, the head of Accounting. I'm in the healthiest relationship of my life. I just think it's insulting that Jan thinks we need this. And apparently, judging from her outfit, Jan aspires to be a whore.

Angela: I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame.

Hannah: Tony was right. This environment is dysfunctional.
Angela: Well, maybe that's because some people treat it like their own private Hooters strip club.
Michael Scott: Whoa, Angela, hold on. Hooters is a restaurant with over 400 locations worldwide.

Angela: Phyllis, I need you to pick up green streamers at lunch.
Phyllis: I thought you said green was whorish.
Angela: No. Orange is whorish.

Angela: Malls are just awful and humiliating. They're just store after store of these horrible sales people making a big fuss out of an adult shopping in a junior section. There are petite adults who are sort of smaller who need to wear, maybe, a kids' size 10.

Angela: Okay. I'm gonna be at the doll store. [aside to camera:] Sometimes the clothes at GapKids are just too flashy. So, I am forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.

Pam: Angela? Are you coming?
Angela: I can't. Sprinkles is sick.
[aside to camera:]
Angela: She's been sick for some time. Thank you for asking. No one asks about Sprinkles.
[back:]
Angela: I have to give her her meds, I have to pet her. And who will she eat lunch with?
Pam: Can't your other cats keep her company?
Angela: There's bad blood. Jealousies, cliques.

Michael Scott: Alright, let's just go around the room, and tell me what you believe in.
Stanley: I'm a ... Catholic.
Michael Scott: Okay.
Darryl: Presbyterian.
Pam: Oh, me too.
Darryl: For real?
Pam: Same religion.
Phyllis: I'm a Lutheran, and bob is a Unitarian. It keeps things spicy.
Angela: That's why we're cursed.

Andy: I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things.
Angela: It's not my problem.
Andy: "A thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow. 24-hour veterinarian on call".
Angela: That is very important to me.

Kevin: Ladies and gentlemen, even though the penis was fake, I kept expecting a second plot twist where we found out that Hilary Swank actually was a boy.
Pam: Kevin!
Angela: Okay, I wasn't going to dignify this discussion by getting involved, and I don't even get the discussion. Hot is a temperature, people. But Kevin deserves to lose for what he said. So, yes... She's hot. She's hot as heck. She's a female Boris Becker.