Michael Scott: Hey, what's going on here? Post-show blues?
Andy: Yeah, I guess you could say that.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I get those every day after work.

Michael Scott: Andy, listen to me. Look me in the eye. I thought that you were awesome.
Andy: Stop just saying that.
Michael Scott: I am not just saying that. You can trust that I am telling you the truth. I booed someone tonight. I have no filter. And if I thought you were terrible, I would have booed. And if I thought you had done a better job, I would be saying nicer things right now. But I thought that you were exactly awesome. No better, no worse.
Andy: Thank you. That feels good.
Michael Scott: I did not say that to make you feel good. I just said it. Total integrity.

Erin: Did you write this?
Andy: No.
Erin: Who did?
Andy: Steven Sondheim.
Erin: Who is he?

Michael Scott: Oh, that was amazing! That was awesome! I auditioned for this. When did the cast list go up?
Andy: Like a month ago.
Michael Scott: Really? They didn't call me. Who am I playing? ... Andy?

Andy: Will you please be the bigger man and come to my show?
Michael Scott: I wish I could, Andy, but I can't. I have plans that night. I'm going to see a friend in a play called Sweeney Todd. You're that friend. I'm going to see your play.
Andy: Noishe!
Michael Scott: And scene.

Dwight K. Schrute: Angela? Don't like her anymore. Not attracted to her anymore. Just contractually obligated to make a baby with her.

Dwight K. Schrute: Give me the punch card.
Angela: No. If you want to punch the punch card, you have to take me to the show.
Dwight K. Schrute: That is not in the contract.
Angela: Well, there's a lot of gray area in that clause. Do you want to re-mediate?
Dwight K. Schrute: Alright, fine. I'll go to your little show, but I'm not wearing a cape.
Angela: Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Angela: Dwight and I have a contractual agreement to procreate five times, plain and simple. And should he develop feelings for me, well, that would be permissible under item 7C, clause 2, so I would not object.

Michael Scott: This is ridiculous. You'd think they'd discourage people from bringing in balloons.
Darryl: Hey, I think this guy playing Sweeney Todd is my plumber.
Michael Scott: No, Darryl. This guy's a world-class actor. He doesn't daylight as your plumber.
Darryl: No, it's my plumber. Says so in his bio. Apparently the director discovered him doing karaoke. It's his first play. He didn't even audition.
Michael Scott: Are you kidding me?
Darryl: Shhh. If we don't listen to the overture, we won't recognize the musical themes when they come back later.

Dwight K. Schrute: [whispering to man sitting next to him] I work with that guy.
Angela: Ugh! There's gum on the seat and now it's on my work skirt. I have to go change.
Dwight K. Schrute: Too bad. I'm not gonna explain anything that you miss.
Angela: Oh, Dwight, just move.
Dwight K. Schrute: [whispering to man sitting next to him] His name's Andy. He's a terrible salesman.

Angela: Come on, Dwight.
Dwight K. Schrute: Why are you dressed like a seed catalog model?
Angela: These are just my dirty old gardening clothes. They were all that I had in my car.
Dwight K. Schrute: Let's go.