The Office Quotes
The Office
A mockumentary which follows the employees of the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of a fictional paper company, Dunder Mufflin.
Starring:
Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak, Ed Helms, Leslie David Baker, Brian Baumgartner, Kate Flannery, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Phyllis Smith, Mindy Kaling, Paul Lieberstein, Creed Bratton, Craig Robinson, Ellie Kemper.
Recurring Actors:
Melora Hardin, David Denman, David Koechner, Andy Buckley, Rashida Jones, Amy Ryan, Kathy Bates, Zach Woods, James Spader, Catherine Tate, Clark Duke, Jake Lacy.
Original Run: 2005-2013.
Quote of the Day
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in Lice
Angela: Oh God, Meredith, lice? Did you not sign a pledge to shower?
Dwight K. Schrute: What? Lice? Oh my god. Lock the doors, we are on full quarantine.
Pam: Dwight, relax. It's just lice. Maybe, possibly.
Dwight K. Schrute: Just lice, Pam?
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: Of all of the vermin in God's great green kingdom, lice are the ones I detest the most. My first day of school, I had lice, and no one would play with me. For 15 years, they called me freak and four eyes and sci-fi nerd and girl puncher. All because I had lice when I was 7.
Popular Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott in Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Quote from Jim in Product Recall
[Jim arrives for work wearing glasses, a side-parting hair cut, and a pale yellow shirt:]
Jim: It's kind of blurry. That's better. Question, what kind of bear is best?
Dwight K. Schrute: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight K. Schrute: Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought.
Jim: Fact, bears eat beets. Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight K. Schrute: Bears do not- What is going on? What are you doing?
[aside to camera:]
Jim: Last week, I was in a drug store and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me $7 to recreate the rest of the ensemble and that's a grand total of $11.
[back:]
Dwight K. Schrute: You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. So I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year!
Jim: Michael!
Dwight K. Schrute: Oh, that's funny. Michael!
Quote Collections
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“Michael Scott and Holly Flax Quotes”
The best quotes from Michael and Holly's relationship.
30 quotes
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Whether you've been impish or admirable, are looking forward to a Benihana or Moroccan Christmas, enjoy the best Christmas quotes from The Office as you wait for Classy Santa and Belsnickel.
42 quotes
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Dwight's best quotes about Schrute Farms, a 60-acre property which grows beets and hemp, and includes a bed and breakfast.
29 quotes
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Every "That's What She Said" moment from The Office.
36 quotes
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“Michael Scott: The Misquotes”
"Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary." - Jim Halpert
42 quotes
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The Scranton Strangler is a local serial killer whose case the staff at Dunder Mifflin took great interest in, one H.R. rep in particular.
18 quotes
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The best quotes from Jim and Pam's relationship.
29 quotes
Trending Quotes
Quote from Michael Scott in The Job
David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Delivery
Dwight K. Schrute: Acceptable names include and are limited to: Ebenezer.
Angela: Jedediah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jonas.
Angela: Jedediah.
Dwight K. Schrute: Warf.
Angela: No Star Trek names.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Fine.
Angela: What if it's a girl?
Dwight K. Schrute: Irrelevant question. Section 5A, child shall be male.
Angela: Hey. Uh-uh. I cannot control that. You can't put that in here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes you can.
Angela: No.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's as simple as keeping the womb extremely warm for two days after sex, and then extremely cold for five months.
Angela: Absolutely not.
Quote from Ryan in Michael's Last Dundies
Michael Scott: FYI, tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpies!
Kevin: Nice.
Phyllis: I love their bread sticks.
Pam: Oh, their bread sticks are like crack.
Ryan: I love when people say "like crack" when they've obviously never done crack.
Pam: Well, the bread sticks are like what then, Ryan? What can I use?
Ryan: I don't know. Something from your world. The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Pam: You're right, you're right. No, I'm a middle class fraud.