The Office Quotes
- Season 1
- Season 2
- The Dundies
- Sexual Harassment
- Office Olympics
- The Fire
- The Fight
- The Client
- Performance Review
- Email Surveillance
- Christmas Party
- Booze Cruise
- The Injury
- The Secret
- The Carpet
- Boys and Girls
- Valentine's Day
- Dwight's Speech
- Take Your Daughter to Work Day
- Michael's Birthday
- Drug Testing
- Conflict Resolution
- Casino Night
- Season 3
- Gay Witch Hunt
- The Convention
- The Coup
- Grief Counseling
- Branch Closing
- The Merger
- The Convict
- A Benihana Christmas (Part 1)
- A Benihana Christmas (Part 2)
- Back from Vacation
- Traveling Salesmen / The Return
- Ben Franklin
- Phyllis' Wedding
- Business School
- The Negotiation
- Safety Training
- Product Recall
- Women's Appreciation
- Beach Games
- The Job
- Season 4
- Season 5
- Weight Loss
- Business Ethics
- Baby Shower
- Crime Aid
- Employee Transfer
- Customer Survey
- Business Trip
- Frame Toby
- The Surplus
- Moroccan Christmas
- The Duel
- Prince Family Paper
- Stress Relief
- Lecture Circuit: Part 1
- Lecture Circuit: Part 2
- Blood Drive
- Golden Ticket
- New Boss
- Two Weeks
- Dream Team
- Michael Scott Paper Company
- Heavy Competition
- Casual Friday
- Cafe Disco
- Company Picnic
- Season 6
- Season 7
- Andy's Play
- Sex Ed
- The Sting
- Costume Contest
- Viewing Party
- Classy Christmas
- The Seminar
- The Search
- Threat Level Midnight
- Todd Packer
- Garage Sale
- Training Day
- Michael's Last Dundies
- Goodbye, Michael
- The Inner Circle
- Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager
- Search Committee
- Season 8
- Season 9
A mockumentary which follows the employees of the Scranton, Pennsylvania branch of a fictional paper company, Dunder Mufflin.
Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B.J. Novak, Ed Helms, Leslie David Baker, Brian Baumgartner, Kate Flannery, Angela Kinsey, Oscar Nunez, Phyllis Smith, Mindy Kaling, Paul Lieberstein, Creed Bratton, Craig Robinson, Ellie Kemper.
Recurring Actors: Melora Hardin, David Denman, David Koechner, Andy Buckley, Rashida Jones, Amy Ryan, Kathy Bates, Zach Woods, James Spader, Catherine Tate, Clark Duke, Jake Lacy.
Original Run: 2005-2013.
Quote of the Day
Friday, July 30, 2021
Holly: Okay, so I've gone over this, and I've thought about it, and I just don't think there's any way I can write a report that doesn't end with her being terminated.
Michael Scott: Wow. Terminator.
Holly: [as Arnold Schwarzenegger] I'm from the future.
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Michael Scott: My life! Oh, my life!
Dwight K. Schrute: [through a megaphone] Michael, what's wrong?
Michael Scott: Everything's wrong. The stress of my modern office has caused me to go into a depression!
Dwight K. Schrute: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling bummed out?
Michael Scott: Dwight, you ignorant slut. Depression is a very serious illness. Over 32,000 people commit suicide every year according to a 2004 study.
Dwight K. Schrute: Is that the last year the data was available?
Michael Scott: Yes. My head is in such pain and turmoil.
Robert: [answering phone] Yeah, hello?
Andy: [on cell phone] You once put me on a list of the losers in the office. Well, this loser just got your biggest client to give him all their business. So hire me back, that business is yours. Don't, and I will find another buyer.
Robert: You're blackmailing me.
Andy: It's just business.
Robert: Ah. [chuckles] Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on, but you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the [bleep] lizard king.
The best quotes from Michael and Holly's relationship.
Whether you've been impish or admirable, are looking forward to a Benihana or Moroccan Christmas, enjoy the best Christmas quotes from The Office as you wait for Classy Santa and Belsnickel.
Dwight's best quotes about Schrute Farms, a 60-acre property which grows beets and hemp, and includes a bed and breakfast.
Every "That's What She Said" moment from The Office.
"Several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary." - Jim Halpert
The Scranton Strangler is a local serial killer whose case the staff at Dunder Mifflin took great interest in, one H.R. rep in particular.
The best quotes from Jim and Pam's relationship.
Michael Scott: Pam, I have a mission to accomplish. Make sure this party gets rolling and I will be back shortly.
Andy: Where are you going? Want me to come with? Listen, I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk. Waitresses, hot. Football, Cornell, Hofstra. Slaughter. Then, quick nap at my place and we hit the tizzown.
Michael Scott: No. I don't wanna do any of that.
Andy: Duh. Which is why I was joking about doing it.
Michael Scott: No, just stop. Stop. Just stop doing it. You're going to drive me crazy.
Andy: Fine, I'll just go sit at my desk and be quiet. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. [ringtone starts again] Excuse me. And I'm also sorry that a lot of people here for some reason think it's funny to steal someone's personal property and hide it from them. Here's a little news flash. It's not funny! In fact, it's pretty freaking un-funny! God! [punches his fist into the wall] That was an overreaction. Gonna hit the break room. Does anybody want anything? Pam, you good?
Andy: Sure? Okay.
Dwight K. Schrute: Acceptable names include and are limited to: Ebenezer.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jonas.
Dwight K. Schrute: Warf.
Angela: No Star Trek names.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Fine.
Angela: What if it's a girl?
Dwight K. Schrute: Irrelevant question. Section 5A, child shall be male.
Angela: Hey. Uh-uh. I cannot control that. You can't put that in here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes you can.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's as simple as keeping the womb extremely warm for two days after sex, and then extremely cold for five months.
Angela: Absolutely not.
Erin: [over intercom] The tea in Nepal is very hot.
Dwight K. Schrute: But the coffee in Peru is far hotter.
Dwight K. Schrute: This is Tuesday, right? The coffee in Paraguay is far hotter?
Dwight K. Schrute: The coffee in Paraguay is colder?
Erin: No, I meant you're getting colder. The correct response is, "the coffee in Peru is much hotter."
Dwight K. Schrute: Ah, much, okay.
Erin: But, that's three wrong, so I gotta give you the steam. [Dwight begins to protest] Unless you want me to break protocol?
Dwight K. Schrute: No, no. Give me the steam.
[aside to camera:]
Dwight K. Schrute: It's just harmless steam to panic intruders. I'd like to get harmful steam, but the prices are absurd.