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Valentine's Day VI

‘Valentine's Day VI’

Season 6, Episode 13 -  Aired February 11, 2015

As Valentine's Day approaches, Brick is nervous when his girlfriend Cindy says she wants him to kiss her, Darrin asks Frankie and Mike for help organizing a scavenger hunt for Sue, and Axl doesn't know what to do when Devin insists she doesn't want to celebrate the occasion.

Quote from Axl

Axl: Oh, God! Look away, Brick! Look away before you turn to stone!
Frankie: We're not kissing because we want to. It's for teaching purposes.
Axl: You shouldn't be doing that. Now he's gonna associate kissing with something gross.


Quote from Axl

Brick: Cindy wants me to kiss her.
Axl: And you went to Mom and Dad instead of me? Rookie mistake.
Frankie: Okay, smart guy, what's your brilliant advice?
Axl: I say get it over with early in the date. That way, all the pressure's off. If you wait too long, you get too nervous.
Frankie: Actually, Brick, that's a good idea.
Axl: Don't agree with me, Mom. It wrecks my point. Look, the hardest part is trying to know whether or not she wants to kiss you, and you already know she does, so you're golden. Just put your mouth on her mouth. And remember this code I made up... keep it simple, stupid.
Brick: Oh. I get it... k-i-s-s. "Keep it simple, stupid."
Axl: Oh, yeah. I never thought about that. Wow! I am good.

Quote from Frankie

Axl: Okay, listen. [sighs] I got to say something, but I don't want you to get all weird and overly excited about it.
Frankie: I won't. What is it?
Axl: [sighs] I need your advice.
Frankie: Ooh! [claps] Whoo!
Axl: Okay. Would you just be cool?
Frankie: I'm cool. Totally cool. Just... just so happy right now. [giggles]
Axl: Okay, so, Devin says she doesn't want anything for Valentine's Day, but then Hutch says every girl wants something, and I just really like her, and I don't want to blow it.
Frankie: Okay. Okay. So that's the question on the table... "says no, might mean yes." And you've come to me, your mom, to help you figure it out... which I love, by the way.
Axl: Mom!
Frankie: Okay. Got it. Um, well, you know, I had a birthday party once, and I said I didn't want any presents, but I got them anyway, and I totally loved it. Then again, she's not me. She might really mean what she says.
I mean, sometimes I mean what I say. See, it's like with your dad. You know, we have our thing. We know what we do. You'll understand when you're married... maybe to Devin, who I picked out for you.
Axl: Goodbye.
Frankie: No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no! No, no! Don't go! I wasn't ready! I was just trying to get it right! This was a hard one! Okay, come back anytime. I love our talks.

Quote from Frankie

Darrin: Okay, while Sue's at Spudsy's, I want to go over the plans for the Scavenger Hunt tomorrow. Mrs. Heck, you're giving her the first clue. You'll be here with doughnuts in the morning.
Frankie: Are you providing the doughnuts?
Darrin: Yeah.
Frankie: Better make it two boxes.
Darrin: Got it.

Quote from Mike

Darrin: And, Mr. Heck, can you be at the Bowling Alley at 3:00, holding a rose?
Mike: No.
Darrin: Can you be at Claire's Boutique at the mall at 4:00?
Mike: No.
Darrin: In the park with a balloon at 5:00?
Mike: No. If you change "Bowling Alley," "mall," or "park" to "couch," then I'm your guy.
Darrin: Awesome. Thanks for being so flexible.

Quote from Axl

Devin: Hey, I'm here. Did you know there's throw-up on your steps?
Axl: Mm, yeah. It's supposed to rain tomorrow.
Devin: Oh. Do you want to watch the game here, or do you want to go to the union?
Axl: Actually, I know you said you didn't want to do anything for Valentine's Day...
Devin: Oh, no. Where do you want it... head or gut?
Axl: No. No, no, no, no, no. We are not celebrating Valentine's Day tomorrow. However, today is World Radio Day. You don't have a problem with that, right?
Devin: I don't know. What is it?
Axl: Just some holiday I read about on Wikipedia. I mean, it was invented three years ago, so there's no lame traditions, like cupids or roses. They don't even have cards for it. I checked.
Devin: Liking it so far.
Axl: Good. So, in honor of World Radio Day and the special place you hold in my heart, I give you... this houseplant!
Devin: Why, thank you.
Axl: Well, to be fair, it came with the house, and you might want to water it. Next... [singsong voice] I made your favorite. [normal voice] Three beef patties, stacked vertically, ordered in window number 1, picked up in window number 2, with fries and a side of fancy ketchup packets!
Devin: And here I thought I was gonna get nothing for Radio Day.
Axl: Unh-unh-unh-unh. Now, before we eat, I have one more thing to show you. Follow me.

Quote from Brick

Brick: Excuse me. I'm about to be spontaneous. [pulls Cindy's ear flaps] Oh. Velcro. I did not know they were detachable. Smart design.

Quote from Darrin

Darrin: There's my Valentine!
Sue: [squeals] Darrin! Ooh! This has just been the best day ever! All the clues, and everybody's been so nice. Well, the manager at the Bowling Alley had a little 'tude, but there were four parties going on today, so I totally get it. But I can't believe you set up all these things in all these places, and I don't even know where we are now. Where are we?
Darrin: The last stop in your Scavenger Hunt. Come in. Surprise! Welcome to my house.
Sue: What?
Darrin: Well, you know, I've been working hard and saving my air-conditioning money, so I bought this house. Just closed on it yesterday.
Sue: Oh, wow. I mean... Wow!
Darrin: It's great, 'cause the kitchen and the living room are in the same room, and back there's the bedroom.
Sue: It's nice how the bed touches all four walls.
Darrin: Yeah. Now I never have to worry about falling off the bed. [Sue laughs] And look... this folds down into a kitchen table. These fold into seats.
Sue: Oh.
Darrin: And this folds down into a couch.
Sue: Ah. Do any of them fold down into a sweater?

Quote from Sue

Mike: What are you supposed to be?
Sue: Dad, I told you... it was '60s day at school. I'm a hippie... but the good-girl one, not the druggy one. It's spirit week, so we dress up as something different every day. Didn't you notice yesterday I was dressed as a baby?
Mike: Sure, Sue. Let's say I did.

Quote from Sue

Sue: Okay. I'm gonna go change out of these groovy duds. Peace out, my brothers. [laughs] That's '60s, right?

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