‘Valentine's Day IV’
Season 4, Episode 15 - Aired February 13, 2013
As Valentine's Day approaches, Axl, Sean and Darrin launch a Boss Co. break-up service to help guys ditch their girlfriends. Brick is upset that Frankie threw away all the art he's made over th years. Sue is excited when ex-boyfriend Matt invites her to the school dance. Meanwhile, Mike accidentally sends a text meant for Frankie to one of his colleagues at the quarry.
Quote from Axl
Axl: [laughs] Man, I love America. Now that I'm rich, I guess I should finally start thinking about giving back. You know, maybe talk to some loser kid at school or plant a bush in a park with a giant plaque with my name on it. [laughs] Whoo!
Quote from Darrin
Sue: You know, you don't have to stay and help clean up. You've done enough.
Darrin: It's okay. I'm having a good time. [throws a cup in the big] Oh, yeah! Nothing but net!
Sue: [hits a person with a cup] Sorry! [both laugh] I still can't believe Matt ditched me.
Darrin: Forget about Matt. He's a loser.
Sue: Well, on the bright side, this is the second time he's dumped me, so I'll probably get over him faster. Hey, listen. I know you're a senior, and you guys don't usually come to the Valentine's dance, but I really appreciate you coming with me. It was really nice of you.
Darrin: Truth is... I didn't do it to be nice. [kisses Sue]
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] There are all kinds of Valentine's gifts. Some are better than others, but the best ones come straight from the heart.
Frankie: Oh, my gosh. Brick! I love it. So... pretty.
Brick: I know I'm supposed to wait till Valentine's Day, but I just couldn't. I think it's some of my best work.
Frankie: And I think you'd be right. Oh, thank you so much, Brick. Oh. I am gonna cherish this forever.
[As Frankie holds the card close to her heart, Brick walks away. When Frankie looks down, the glitter has rubbed off on her top]
Quote from Mike
Sue: So, Dad, are you doing anything for Mom for Valentine's Day? Anything romantic?
Mike: Ah, we're not those kind of people.
Sue: But you have to do something, even if it's just writing her a note or sending a cute text telling her how much you love her.
Mike: Well, I'm doing something. I'm taking the Christmas tree out to the curb without being asked.
Quote from Axl
Axl: [snaps fingers] Wait a sec. There's a lot of guys wanting to get out of relationships before Valentine's Day, right? That way, they can avoid spending all that money and taking things to the next level.
Sean: Go on.
Axl: I will. Breaking up in person's horrible, and the text dump can be forwarded, land you on the douche list, so what if we did it?
Sean: Did what?
Axl: What if guys paid us to break up with the girls for them? Huh? Boss Co. breakup service. [Sean and Darrin laugh]
Darrin: Okay. Explain it to me one more time.
Quote from Sue
Sue: [screams] I've got a date to the dance! Oh! I'm not gonna be a loser after all. Oh, my God. I'm so relieved. I can barely breathe.
Frankie: So what happened?
Sue: Well, I just got off the phone with Matt. Turns out he broke up with Sheri. I knew it wouldn't last. And he realized he missed me and loved me and couldn't live without me. And he asked if he could have the honor of taking me to the Valentine's dance! [screams]
Frankie: Oh, honey. That's so great.
Sue: I'm gonna ride my bike over to Carly's and tell her all about it. [screams] Guess what, Dad? I'm going to the dance after all! Romantic, huh? Oh, and I see the tree's still up. Just sayin'. [screams]
Quote from Mike
Mike: [types] "I know I never say it, but you're very special to me." [cell phone buzzes] "You're special to me, too." Jim?
Quote from Mike
Mike: Ah, Jim, uh... hey, listen, about that text...
Jim: Yeah. I was kinda wanting to talk to you about it, too.
Mike: Uh, no. We don't have to do that. See, uh, in fact, that text was...
Jim: The nicest thing anybody's ever done. I'll just say it. You're the best boss I've ever had, Mike.
Mike: Uh, all right, then. Thanks.
Jim: I've been... kinda going through a rough patch lately, and you telling me I'm special is just the boost I needed.
Mike: Uh-huh.
Jim: Yeah. I never told anyone this. But I've always had a hard time fitting in. When you're a kid, all you wanna do is belong, you know?
Mike: Sure.
Jim: See, I started going bald when I was in grade school. Did you ever see a 180-pound 12-year-old with a comb-over? [exhales] It feels good just to say it.
Quote from Sean Donahue
Evan: I heard about your guys' service, and I wanna dump my girlfriend, but I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
Sean: You've come to the right place, Evan.
Quote from Sean Donahue
Josh: What am I signing?
Axl: Ah, it's a standard release form saying we're not liable if anything goes wrong.
Sean: And that if your ex is hot, we, the members of Boss Co., reserve the right to ask her out after the appropriate 7-day waiting period. [Darrin whispers in Sean's ear] Correction... 3-day waiting period.