‘Vacation Days’
Season 5, Episode 15 - Aired March 5, 2014
Mike tries to relax at home after being forced to take his paid vacation days, but Brick is determined to cash in all the coupons he's given his father as gifts. Frankie is furious when she finds out Axl came home from college early and has been staying at the Donahues. Meanwhile, Sue is upset when she reads a negative review of her service at Spudsy Malone's.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Okay, I know you said not to look at Yelp, Brad, but I did.
Brad: Oh, Sue. I have an advance copy of the yearbook. Don't look at that, either.
Sue: I just don't understand what's going on here. I mean, this whole thing has gotten totally out of hand. I got to find out who MallRat37 is. Oh, God! It could be anybody! Brad, give me your phone!
Brad: No!
Sue: Why not? Is it because you're MallRat37? Oh, my God! It is you!
Brad: Sue, stage slap! [Sue grunts]
Sue: Nice try, but that is not gonna do it! This ends now!
Quote from Sue
Sue: Can I have everybody's attention, please? What is happening to us as a society? What kind of world do we live in where people make nasty comments and don't even have the decency to sign their name? Well, I am here today to say that we are not gonna put up with it anymore. If people have constructive criticisms, then, please, just say them to my face.
Man #1: Your potatoes suck.
Sue: I said "constructive criticism."
Man #2: They taste like they've been microwaved instead of baked.
Sue: Okay, that's not true. They are pre-baked in Kansas. But my point is...
Woman #1: I feel like the pictures misrepresent the food.
Sue: Well, they do have food stylists, but that's just good advertising.
Man #1 The pop's flat.
Woman #2: That's because it's 90% ice.
Sue: Okay, that is a corporate issue. T-they tell us where to fill it.
Woman #1: I hate the cheap, plastic forks. We like real silverware.
Sue: Well, so did we, but people put them in the trash.
Man #2: Your potatoes belong in the trash.
Sue: You know, my Aunt Ginny said, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Man #1: Your aunt's stupid.
Sue: She's actually dead.
Woman #2: Why? Did she eat one of your potatoes? [laughter]
Quote from Mike
Mike: [answers phone] Hello? Really?
Frankie: I was so mad when I left, I forgot my purse, and I didn't check the gas gauge.
Mike: [to Brick] Got any coupons for picking up a couple idiots in Tennessee?