‘The Wind Chimes’
Season 5, Episode 19 - Aired April 23, 2014
Frankie tries to convince her neighbor Rita Glossner (Brooke Shields) to take down wind chimes that are keeping her up all night. Axl and Hutch find a discarded couch which will be perfect for when they live together. Brick tries to come up with new flavors of pretzels that he can suggest to the manufacturer. Meanwhile, Sue informs her family that she and Darrin are dating.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: You know, maybe we could get some wind chimes. It'd be fun to do something nice like that. Jazz up the house, you know?
Mike: TV's on.
Quote from Axl
Hutch: Dude, I found the perfect couch for our apartment next year.
Axl: Cool. Where?
Hutch: Behind this dumpster on State Street.
Axl: Wh-- And it's just sitting there? For free?
Hutch: Yeah. I smelled it, and on a scale of 1 to Kenny, about a 7.
Axl: Ooh. Uh, speaking of Kenny, I haven't exactly told him you and I are rooming together next year.
Hutch: Ooh. Right. Be gentle.
Axl: Living with Hutch next year. Yeah. He's taking it pretty hard. We should give him some space.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Oh, my God! Campus is still like a million miles away. What were we thinking?!
Hutch: Man, we need a truck. And two other dudes to put it in the truck.
Axl: I can't go looking for a truck now. I got to get to class.
Hutch: We can't leave this thing sitting here. If someone takes it, we're gonna spend all next year knowing that someone is sitting in our dumpster couch.
Axl: I know. What if I go to class, you spend the night here, and I'll get a truck tomorrow?
Hutch: What-
Axl: Look, you stay, I'll let you pick your favorite side for when we have our own place, huh?
Hutch: Hmm. All right. Let's see. [sits down]
Quote from Axl
Hutch: Where have you been?!
Axl: Just woke up.
Hutch: It's noon. Now, where's the truck?
Axl: Uh, well, here's the thing I can't get Olsen's truck till Saturday.
Hutch: What?!
Axl: But it's no big deal. Nichols Forest is 100 yards up. We'll drag the couch deep into the woods and leave it where no one will ever find it.
Hutch: You know, I'm a little uncomfortable with how quickly you came up with that idea.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Oh, Mom. I'm not gonna be around Saturday. I'll be with Darrin. You know we're going out again, right?
Frankie: Yeah.
Sue: So, if you need me, we're gonna be at a birthday party for a 1-year-old.
Frankie: Darrin has a friend with a baby?
Sue: Mm-hmm. They met at air-conditioning school. The friend, not the baby. [chuckles]
Quote from Mike
Sue: Hey, Dad. When we were at the mall buying Darrin socks, we got the cutest little puzzle for Noah's birthday party. It is a puppy policeman.
Mike: Take it back. You're not going to any repairman toddler party.
Sue: What? Why?
Mike: I don't want you hanging out with that kind of crowd.
Sue: Toddlers?
Mike: Look, I'm your dad, and you'll do what I say.
Sue: But there's gonna be a clown and cupcakes. And Darrin's gonna be there.
Mike: Well, I'm not Darrin's dad. I'm your dad. And you're not going. Now, put on your headphones and go to bed.
Quote from Sue
Darrin: [on video chat] And then we put the kids in a playpen, and all the grown-ups jumped in the bouncy house. Oh, and there were juice boxes. I'm making it sound fun, but it wasn't, 'cause my Sue Bear wasn't there.
Sue: Oh. I miss you, too! I can't believe I didn't get to play in the Curious George bouncy house. But apparently, my dad still thinks of me as a little kid.
Mike: Sue, if you want to talk to Darrin, take it upstairs.
Sue: Oh, I am not gonna be the only one upstairs when we're at war with the Glossners. They are capable of anything!
Quote from Rita Glossner
Rita Glossner: What the hell you doin'?
Mike: You know what, Rita? We've had enough of your wind chimes. We tried to do this the nice way, but you pushed us too far.
[Rita punches Mike in the eye]
Mike: Aah! Ow! What the hell?!
Rita Glossner: "Ow, what the hell," you. [kicks him]
Mike: Hey, now! I'm not looking for any trouble. [Rita slaps him] Damn it! That's not- No- [Rita hits him with a bat] Ow! Ow! Hey, you're crazy! You know that?!
Rita Glossner: Oh, I'm crazy, stretch? Huh? You like crazy, do you?
Mike: No!
Quote from Mike
Frankie: Look, I'm sorry. In my defense, I didn't even know you were listening. So... you really yelled at the mailman and that kid at The Frugal Hoosier? I never knew you did that. That is so sweet!
Mike: Well, it's not like I come home bragging about who I yelled at that day.
Frankie: Are there others?
Mike: I don't know. Maybe.