Sue: Wow, Mom, that is so unfair. You are not going to make that coffee, are you?
Frankie: Ugh, not worth the fight.
Man: [over PA] All personnel, I've been informed there will be fresh coffee shortly.
Sue: Hey, can I interest you in a cheese sampler so I can win a trip to my state capital?
Man: [over PA] Put me down for the Jalapeño Cheddar Ball.
Sue: Yes. Oh, and if you get that, I can throw in the Wild Game Sausage Trio at half price.
Man: [over PA] [sighs] Fine.

Sue: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I did it! I sold over $3000 worth of cheese and sausage!
Frankie: Oh, honey, that's terrific!
Mike: That's great, Sue!
Sue: I know. I just have to send the checks to the company and then I'm off to Indianapolis! The capital! [chuckles]
Frankie: Oh, honey, I am so proud of you. You worked hard and it paid off. And now you get to see close-up, how Indiana state government works.
Sue: I know. It's like a dream!

Frankie: [bus horn honks] Damn it, Axl! I told you, turn off the TV and get ready for school! Now the bus is here and you're not ready!
[Axl slides forward on the couch, pulling a t-shirt over his head. He jumps up and pulls his jeans up, and lands in his unlaced sneakers]
Axl: I told you, two seconds. Chill.
Frankie: How the hell does he do that?

Sue: Looks like I'm not going to Indianapolis. I was really looking forward to it too.
Frankie: What are you talking about? This is just a mistake. Things like this happen all the time. Yes, more often to you, but we'll straighten it out.
Sue: Eh, it's not worth the fight.
Frankie: [v.o.] Great. Why do I have to be the only mom in the world whose teenager listens to what they say?

Frankie: And I said it to Mr. Ehlert right in front of her. Oh, my God. Am I a horrible mother?
Mike: Too soon to tell.
Frankie: It's just so unfair. I mean, for once in her life, Sue finally wins something and then that stupid school has to go and screw it all up. She earned that trip. We earned that trip.
Mike: Hell, yeah. I'm the one that spent 50 hours in the car with her. Oh, did you know that her friend Stacy likes a boy named Ben? But Ben likes Stacy's friend Madison so now they're not talking to her. Want more? I got lots more.

Frankie: Hello, Olivia. So nice to meet you.
Olivia: Hi. Can Brick come out and play?
Mike: Hey, Brick. Your girlfriend's here. Go out there and have fun.
Brick: I don't want to.
Mike: Hey, you're not getting a lot of offers, bud. Come on, she's cute.
[After Brick walks out onto the porch, Frankie and Mike close the door]
Olivia: I told you I'd be here at 3. Why weren't you waiting outside? And another thing, make sure you're free on Saturday. We have a birthday party. [Brick sighs] You forgot, didn't you? It's like you don't hear a word I'm saying.
Brick: I hear all the words, Olivia. All of them. [whispers] All of them.
Olivia: And why do you whisper to yourself? It's so annoying.

[Brick opens the shower curtain while Axl takes a shower]
Brick: How do you break up with a girl?
Axl: You sure you wanna break up with that chick? I mean, you're kind of a weird dude. You got a hottie that likes you.
Brick: I'm sure.
Axl: All right. Well, girls like it when you to talk to them so try blowing her off or something.
Brick: How do I do that?
Axl: Like this. [closes the shower curtain]

Mike: I'm going there and talk to that guy.
Frankie: Mike, wait. Didn't you hear her? He said he would look into it.
Mike: He's blowing her off. I tell people all day long I'll look into it. I never do.
Frankie: No. We are not doing this for her. We are not helicopter parenting.
Frankie: [v.o.] Regis and Kelly.
Frankie: You saw how excited she was. If you go, you're gonna undermine her self-confidence, and she will never learn to fight her own battles. Look, the trip is in two weeks. If we don't hear before then, we'll step in.

Frankie: [v.o.] So while I had one kid desperately trying to get into something, I had another desperately trying to get out. [doorbell rings]
Brick: It's her! [to Mike] Don't make me go out. I'll do any kind of social interaction you want me to. There's this new boy in my class who eats his boogers. I bet he'd be my friend. Anyone but Olivia.

Mike: Look, Olivia, Brick asked me to speak to you because he thinks you're a very nice girl, but he's not ready to get married. But he wants to remain friends because he likes you very much.
Olivia: It's too late. We're already married and we have kids. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder.
Mike: Okay, how about this? You're not really married and your kids are dolls. So why don't you head home and Brick will see you around school? Okay, hon?
Olivia: Nope.
Mike: What?
Olivia: I've put too much time into this relationship to just walk away.
Mike: Well, I think you have to.
Olivia: Nope.
Mike: You can't keep saying nope.
Olivia: Yes, I can.
Mike: No, you can't.
Olivia: Yes, I can.
Mike: Okay, that's enough. I'm not gonna get into this because I'm the grown-up and I don't have to. I'm sorry it came down to this, but, uh, it's over, okay? Brick doesn't wanna see you anymore. Got it?
Olivia: Nope.
Mike: Go home, Olivia.
Olivia: How are you gonna make me?
Mike: [sighs] Brick, Olivia's here!