Darrin: Sue. What are you doing?
[Sue holds up a series of poster boards reading "I think John Green says it best..." "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world." "But you do have some say in who hurts you." "I like my choices." "If we keep our hearts open, love will find a way in."
Sue: That one was actually from Jane Seymour's jewelry ad, but I just thought it was so good.

Darrin: Sue...
Sue: Look, Darrin... I am so, so sorry. I was just jealous and crazy, and I took it out on you. Pbht. How could something that started with a photo blanket spin so far out of control? Can you please give me the necklace again? And we can just go back to the way things were.
Darrin: Sue, I don't know anymore. These past couple days have been kind of an emotional rollercoaster for me. And normally I love rollercoasters, but you really hurt my feelings, and then you wouldn't talk to me. I think I just need some time... time to figure things out. I'm sorry. [doorknob rattles] Can you please go now so I can ring the doorbell for my mom?

Hutch: Look at this place. Everything's busted. Oh, man, fratorities are expensive.
Axl: Well, better get your checkbook out 'cause we got a lot of stuff to replace.
Hutch: No. Come on. You know we can't afford that. We got to figure out something else.
Axl: Well, there is one thing we could do.
[later: Kenny plays video games in the corner]
Axl: He's not pink-sweater girl, but he's quiet, and he pays his rent on time. And, you know... he's family.

Darrin: I love you, Sue Heck.
Sue: I love you, too.
Darrin: You now have the only key to my heart.
Sue: Ooh!
Darrin: My mom cried a little bit, but... She understood.

Frankie: [v.o.] Young love... it's filled with ups and downs and rooms full of balloons, but there's no way any normal couple can sustain that kind of passion. But sometimes, on a special occasion, like your 20-something-th anniversary... You can still try.
Mike: [chuckles] What's all this?
Frankie: Happy anniversary.
Mike: Wow. You really went to town here.
Frankie: Well, you know, I was thinking about it, and I realized when I sit down to dinner at a tiny table, there's no one I'd rather sit across from and see than you.

Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, our anniversary was pretty lame, as usual. We don't normally care all that much, but it's a lot harder when you're staring young love in the face.
Sue: Darrin's been carrying me everywhere today. My feet haven't touched the ground once.
Darrin: That's because I've declared it "Sue Heck week."
Sue: For no reason. Ah!
Darrin: Where to, my love?
Sue: Fro-yo! [hits head on wall] Aah! I'm okay!

Sue: [o.s.] Darrin filled my room with balloons! Can you believe it?!
[Mike pushes a balloon back into Sue's room]

Frankie: Why are you looking at tables?
Axl: Hutch and I got some big plans. We're trying to class up our place, but we already hit all the dumpsters, and they're empty.
Frankie: Ooh. Let's look on Craigslist. Scoot. [clicks tongue] Let's see. Okay. Tents, televisions, transgender massage. Oh, tables.

Axl: Hey... Nick! Welcome to Hutch Axl Pi.
Nick: Thanks. This place is great. I really...
Axl: Yeah, yeah, cool. So, uh, tell me... if you were to apply for a car loan, would the dealership look at your bank statement and laugh or smile and hand you some keys?
Nick: Oh, uh, I don't know. [chuckles] I'm... I'm not really in the market for a car right now. Well, I-I actually just bought a flat-screen TV.
Axl: Welcome, brother Nick!

Chris: I love the whole "bro/babe" vibe this place is throwing down. I want in. Only prob is, my wallet's not too fat right now. So, if you guys could, like, let me slide on the first payment, pretty sure I could scrounge the cash by month two.
Hutch: I'm gonna go ahead and put a little "X" on your name tag for no reason. [Chris chuckles]
[meanwhile:]
Samantha: I may have trouble paying the first month's rent. My dad cut me off for partying too much.
Axl: Hey, don't you worry. There's always a bed at Hutch Axl Pi for a girl like you.