Axl: So, look, I'm sorry if I was sort of a jerk before, but now that I'm officially in college, the prank is back on. We're gonna...
Darrin: Cement a golf cart to the stairs?
Axl: Uh, no. No. No, no, no, no. We're gonna...
Darrin: Let a wild Bobcat loose in the school?
Axl: Darrin.
Darrin: Sorry. I just love guessing.

Mr. Glover: Well, I trust that all of you are well ensconced in your experiments. Now when I call your name, you will state your hypothesis and bring me up to date on your experiment. Miss Heck?
Sue: Well... um...
Mr. Glover: "Well, um" is not an hypothesis. Miss Moore?
Lauren Moore: My hypothesis is that some marinade ingredients might block carcinogenic compounds from forming on meat when it's grilled. I'm currently looking at which ingredients would inhibit PHIP formation, 'cause if I can find a way to decrease carcinogens from our diet, I might have found a way to prevent cancer.
Mr. Glover: Whew. Miss Heck?
Sue: Um, well... my hypothesis... is that smiling is contagious. [laughter] It's more than you think. You see, the purpose of this project is to prove that when one individual smiles, it will elicit a similar smile from another human, thereby decreasing levels of worldwide... unhappiness.
Mr. Glover: Well, then. The rest of you will have to tell me your hypothesis later because I have to dust off the Nobel prize for Miss Heck. Let me warn you... if this is the direction you're going, you... better... "wow" me.

Sean: Whoa, is that the school? It looks so tiny from up here.
Axl: Yeah. Felt so big when we were freshmen.
Darrin: And there's the football field.
Sean: Yep. You always said that we'd win a city championship on that field, and we did.
Darrin: You also said you'd feel Julie O'Connor's boobs on that field.
Axl: Mm. Well, one for two ain't bad, huh?
Darrin: You only felt one of 'em?
Axl: [sighs] Remind me not to have you fix my air conditioner.

Mr. Glover: Well, how did we do, Miss Heck?
Sue: I guess you'll tell me.
Mr. Glover: Class, while I grade all your fine work, you can continue reading chapter 23. If you finish, you can proceed to chapter 24.
Sue: [v.o.] Is smiling contagious? After many attempts with multiple subjects, including family, friends, a Red Lobster waitress, and an unfriendly baby, I, unfortunately, was unable to prove my hypothesis. However, like many scientists before me, I refuse to admit defeat. It took Einstein ten years to prove E=mc2, and if it takes me that long to prove smiling is contagious, then I am up for the challenge, for I believe there are some things that defy logic.

Sue: [v.o.] French anatomist Duchenne wrote that "Joy is expressed on the face by contraction of the muscles, but it can only be put in play by the sweet emotions of the soul."

Sue: [v.o.] And Duchenne had a whole smile named after him. Think of the smiles over the years that have inspired a whole world to happiness Mona Lisa's, Justin Bieber's. Some might laugh at me, I know, just as they laughed at John Gurdon. He was told in high school that he would never be a scientist. He just won the Nobel prize. I guess it just proves that being dismissed by people who think they know better is not an obstacle to winning a Nobel prize. So I will continue with my research one smile at a time, until I prove that smiling is contagious, 'cause I don't wanna live in a world where it isn't.
[A brief smile crosses Mr. Glover's face as he gets to the end of Sue's report and looks up at her.]

Brick: Dad's on board with getting the iPad, but he thinks middle school is a long way off.
Frankie: Really? He really said that?
Axl: Hey, Mom, can we go to Red Lobster for dinner tonight?
Frankie: No.
Brick: Yeah, that's what Dad said. He absolutely said that.
Axl: Why not? You're always saying we should do more as a family.
Frankie: We are gonna do something as a family. We are eating defrosted pot pies from the Frugal Hoosier and watching Dance Moms.
Axl: Yeah, I just don't think that's a very good idea for tonight.
Brick: So, since Dad thought middle school was so far away, I was just thinking you guys could give me the iPad for my graduation present.
Frankie: [sighs] Are you still talking about this?

Brick: Have you guys seen my iPad?
Frankie: [v.o.] I know what you're thinking. 80% of our appliances have duct tape on 'em. How the hell did Brick get an iPad? Well, when a kid really wants something, they chip away at you like a lumberjack on a redwood. I guess it started about a month ago.

Frankie: [laughs]
Brick: What's so funny?
Frankie: Hey, Mike, get in here. Go ahead. Ask your dad what you just asked me.
Brick: Can you guys buy me an iPad?
Mike: [laughs] Thanks, buddy. I needed that.

Axl: What? Today is baby day for spirit week, so me, Sean, and Darrin are rockin' the diapers. Baby seniors rule!
Frankie: Hey, uh, if you get a chance today, you wanna stop by the College Center and find out why we haven't heard from East Indiana yet?
Axl: Mom, a lot of people haven't heard anything yet, all right? You don't have to worry about this. I got it under control. I'm practically an adult, so... [drinks from baby bottle]