Sue: Hey, Axl. Check me out. I am tumbling rocks for my Geology Club and getting my broom ready for Muggle Quidditch. I haven't figured out how to work homework into all my club activities, but luckily, I'm in homework club!

Axl: I knew if you came to my college, you would ruin my life! And I've been so good to you! I took you out for pizza! I nodded at you in the quad, twice! I saw you wipe out in the union. I didn't laugh or draw attention or anything!
Sue: I am so, so sorry, Axl. I thought I was helping. If I'm the one who broke you two up, I will never forgive myself.
Axl: Okay, you know what? That's it. We're going back to the old rules. You don't know me, and I don't know you, all right? No saying hi. No waving at me across campus. 150-foot radius around me at all times. If you see me coming, you lay in a ditch until I pass! We are done!

[Brick drops a "3,000 washes" toilet rim block into the toilet]
Brick: One. [flushes] Two. [flushes] Three. [flushes]

Frankie: [sighs] What is up with you?
Mike: Nothing's up.
Frankie: You've been pissy since the breadsticks.
Mike: I'm not pissy. [Frankie scoffs] It was a lot more than four minutes on the shirt. That's all.
Frankie: Oh, come on. You're exaggerating.
Mike: "Hey, Don Ho, how about a chorus of 'Tiny Bubbles'? Ha, ha, ha." "How much to ride the paddleboard? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha." "How would you like a nice Hawaiian punch? Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho!" That last one was you.

Frankie: Okay, look... I like the shirt. But, honestly, you have no one but yourself to blame. You made your flannel bed, and now you got to lie in it.
Mike: What, am I so rigid and predictable that if I put a different shirt on one day, it becomes a whole thing?
Frankie: Uh, yeah. [chuckles] Come on. If Fred Flintstone starts walking around Bedrock in something other than his leopard man-dress, you don't think that Wilma and Barney and Betty aren't gonna give him crap?
Mike: Can we just drop this?
Frankie: Yeah. I'm fine dropping it. Consider it dropped.
[cut to Frankie and Mike at home in the kitchen:]
Frankie: The thing is, when a guy wears a Hawaiian shirt, people expect a certain lightness of spirit that you... I'm just gonna say it... lack. It's okay. We don't expect it from you. You have other qualities. You're very tall. You intimidate service people. It didn't help us tonight, but whatever.

Sue: Devin! Devin! Hey, wait, wait! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Look, I might have said some things the other day that are not true, and I was just talking, and they do not reflect Axl's thinking in any way.
Devin: Sue, what's going on?
Sue: What's going on is I am setting the record straight. And when you have something really important to say, there is no better way to do it than through song. And I brought some of my friends from my new no-cut a cappella club to help me. [clears throat] [plays note] Three, four.
Sue & a cappella group: [sing to the tune of "To Know Him Is To Love Him"] I know, know, know he Does not love, love, love you He doesn't care that much Not about anything, really I know, know, know he Does not love, love, love you No, he doesn't No, he doesn't No, he doesn't No, he doesn't He might never Never, ooh You should go talk to him Just talk, talk, talk to him He's just leaving Calculus If you run, you can catch up with him I shouldn't have butted in No, she shouldn't have butted in And I won't ever She won't ever Ever, ever Ever, ever Never again [harmonizing off-key]
Sue: Shh!
Devin: Wow. Well, that's... Thank you. I guess.

Frankie: Okay, Nancy, I can assure you we did not have a luau. And just so you know, we went out with the Norwoods, too. Paula called me special. Anyway, for whatever reason, out of nowhere, Mike decided he wanted to wear a Hawaiian shirt.
Nancy: Oh. Yep. Ron went through this, too.
Frankie: What do you mean?
Nancy: Well, when men get to a certain age, they suddenly want to do something different. With Ron, it was taking karate and ordering thin-crust pizza. It's like I was living with a stranger. Anyway, it's a midlife crisis. Or, as Dr. Oz likes to call it, "man-opause." They all go through it.

Sue: [on video call with Brick] I just can't do this many clubs. I mean, I-I-I got to figure out a way to quit some. I think I over-clubbed, Brick. I totally get why there are cuts in high school now. I have grown up so much in two weeks.
Axl: [on phone with Brick] Sue, there are more important things to talk about than your stupid clubs. Dad bought a motorcycle. That's a cool thing to do. I'm telling you, be careful. Dad is not Dad.
Brick: You're right. Things are weird here. Ever since you left... I don't know, I think maybe you guys are the filth that holds this family together.
Sue: Aw. It's true, though.
Brick: You know, I was cleaning the bathroom this week...
Axl: Cleaning?
Brick: And decided to go on Youtube to help me out with everything...

Axl: So, want to come over later and do nothing?
Devin: I don't know. How is your ant problem?
Axl: We seem to have reached a happy agreement. Whenever I have pizza, I throw them a slice in the corner. Seems to appease 'em.
Devin: Wow, I never thought I'd see peace with the ants in my lifetime.
Axl: Oh. Well, anyway, I got to get to practice. Coach put me in for almost a full minute on Saturday. [grunts] Wouldn't look good if a star player showed up late. You know, got to set a good example.
[Sue runs through Axl and Devin on her way to another stand]
Devin: Think we should stop her?
Axl: Nah. Let her wear herself out. She'll sleep better.

Devin: Hey.
Sue: Oh, my God, did you know there is a whole club just for tasting cheese? I mean, I always thought there were only two kinds... Regular and squeezy. [sighs] Anyway... Thanks for coming with me. My roommate said this was lame, but clearly her lame-dar is way off, because this is so not lame. [gasps] "Jelly is my Jam" Club!
Sue: Ooh. What are you doing?
Devin: I'm signing Axl up for the Renaissance Society. Think he'll be mad at me?
Sue: What? Uh, no way. You could do anything and he wouldn't get mad at you. Uh, he is head over heels for you.
Devin: Oh, yeah?
Sue: Oh, yeah. No, trust me. I am his sister. I have never seen him like this before. I mean, he loves you.
Devin: Did he actually say that?
Sue: Yeah, pretty much. I mean, I get you guys are only in college, but think about it... Someday you and I could be sisters-in-law. How awesome would that be? [gasps] Candle-making? I have prior candle-making experience.