Woman: Wait. Is this what I think it is? [laughing] Oh, my God. That is hilarious. [Mike chuckles] Seriously, I can move a lot of these in my store. How about I hit you up on Linkedln?
Mike: Oh. No, that's very flattering, but I'm married.
Woman: No, Linkedln is the... Never mind.
Mike: Our website is kind of being worked on right now, but real soon, it's gonna be up and running on the world wide web. W-w-w.
Woman: Okay... Just give me your Twitter, and I'll follow you.
Mike: The Twitter's also being worked on. But you know what? If you write down your information, I can send you one of our mailers. And don't worry, I'll stick a self-addressed stamped envelope in there.
Woman: Wow.

Frankie: [v.o.] So Sue was entering the world of sorority rush, but she had her head on straight. She was keeping it all in perspective.
Jackie: So, we only have 20 minutes before you move on to the next house, so I just want to get to know you a bit. Where are you from?
Sue: I'm from Orson.
Lexie: I'm from Carmel.
Jackie: No way. Do you know Susie McDaniel?
Lexie: No way. She lives on my street.
Jackie: No way! We went to camp together.
Sue: No way!

Jackie: Oh, I love your necklace.
Lexie: Oh, thank you. It's a horseshoe. I've been riding since I was 6.
Jackie: Do you ride horses competitively?
Lexie: Oh, yeah. I've traveled to competitions in Colorado, California... Everywhere, really. [Jackie chuckles]
Sue: Oh. I've traveled for competitions, too. Not mine, my brother's. It was a spelling bee. We stayed in a motel in Chicago. Funny story, when we got to the room, there was a poop in the toilet. Not our poop... a mystery poop. A real whodunit. Like a murder mystery, but with poop.
Jackie: Oh, hi, Wendy. I was just talking with Sue and Lexie here. Lexie was telling me how she likes to ride horses and Sue was telling me a story about poo.

Frankie: [answers phone] Hello?
Sue: I am dying out here. I tried to be funny, I tried to be whimsical... Just something different. It's almost like sororities don't want different. And I keep getting stuck next to this girl who rides horses and has been to California. What about me is cool like that?
Frankie: I don't know, Sue. Look, I'm a little thrown. Your brother just bought his own pants.
Sue: I'm not telling them my brother bought his own pants. "Ooh, my brother bought pants." Oh, you know what? I actually might use that.
Frankie: I mean, dark wash? Did he ever say anything to you about wanting dark wash?
Sue: Mom! You don't understand what it's like. Everyone's beautiful. They're all blonde and perfect. There's a tall blonde. There's a tall blonde. There's a tall blonde. Oh, she's just kind of so-so. Oh, never mind. That's just my reflection in the window.

Lexie: [gasps] Are you okay?
Sue: What? Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I actually do this all the time. Luckily, I have really bendy ankles.
Lexie: Well, come on. They're gonna close the doors, and you don't want to miss it.
Sue: Oh, that's okay. Go on without me. I'm pretty sure I'd just end up talking about my brother's pants.
Lexie: Well, that I got to hear. Let's go. You're coming. You're my rush buddy.
Sue: I am?
Lexie: Yeah. Why do you think that I sit next to you every time?
Sue: 'Cause I make you look good.
Lexie: [laughing] No. 'Cause you're, like, hilarious. You're different. You're not like the other girls. You seem like you're really into being happy.
Sue: I am.

Mike: Get this. Thanks to Axl, I got a Twitter. I already got two followers, and I haven't even twittered anything yet.

Lexie: I got invited back to all nine.
Sue: I got invited back to some! [squeals] Oh, God. I don't know how I'm gonna rank them. I just love them all so much!
Lexie: Here's what you're gonna want to do... Keep your options open. You don't want to fall in love with just one sorority. You got to check them all out 'cause you never know which one will end up being the right one for you.
Sue: Got it. Don't worry. I am not a pushover. They are really gonna have to sell me.

Frankie: [v.o.] So with only two sorority houses left and the outcome anybody's guess, Sue knew she had to keep her emotions in check.
Jackie: "'Wasn't I real before, ' asked the rabbit. 'You were real to the boy, ' the fairy said, 'because he loved you. But now you shall be real to everyone.'"
Sue: We're the rabbit. [sniffles] The rabbit is us.

Sue: You go first. I can't wait to see where you got in.
Lexie: What?
Sue: Who is it? Kappas? Thetas? They changed the rules so you could join both because they both loved you so much?
Lexie: I didn't get in anywhere.
Sue: What? That's crazy. If you made up a girl who should get into a sorority, it would be you! You are, like, perfect. You're funny. You're cool. You have a horse named Twinkie.
Lexie: Actually, Twinkie's my car. [crying] My horse's name is Cinnamon.

Frankie: [v.o.] And as for Brick, well, we finally did go bowling.
Frankie: This is gonna be fun, huh? Hey, maybe we can even grab some dinner after.
Brick: You know, next time we go to the mall, I think I'm gonna buy a shirt.
Troy: Me too. I'm gonna get a tasteful zombie shirt that girls would like.
Brick: Ooh. You know, I could help. After the dark-wash jeans, I really feel like I'm developing a sense of style. A person can only wear so much stripes.
Frankie: [v.o.] I guess it was the natural order of things, and it was good Brick finally had a friend. I mean, he didn't talk to me the whole night. I was basically the chauffeur. But that's okay, 'cause he'll be driving soon enough. And who knows? This could be the last time I ever get to be his chauffeur. And I was going to enjoy every minute of it.