‘The Loneliest Locker’
Season 6, Episode 2 - Aired October 1, 2014
Frankie and Mike take on second jobs as they start to worry about putting Sue through college next year. Sue and Brad produce a school play about teen issues called "The Loneliest Locker". Meanwhile, Axl and Hutch furnish their new house with items from the Heck household, while Brick makes up for lost time with the childhood toys that were hidden from him.
Quote from Frankie
Automated Voice: [cash register beeps] 45 cents. One dollar. Let's play.
Frankie: I did not think our home could become more annoying, and yet, it has.
Quote from Brick
Brick: [cash register beeps] Two dollars.
Mike: Brick, turn that thing off. We're leaving. [telephone rings]
Brick: You know, if you would have just let me play with this when I was little, it would have been lost a long time ago. Ironic, isn't it?
Quote from Sue
Frankie: Okay, you're not gonna believe this. That was work. Severe thunderstorms have shut down the Atlanta Airport, and they want everybody on the phone to reroute passengers.
Sue: What?! But that means you're gonna miss my play! Mom, I don't think you're getting how big of a deal this is. The vice principal and the nurse are going to be there, so, yeah, it's a huge deal.
Frankie: Look, Sue, I'll be there. It's... it's just that this pays time-and-a-half, and it's a new job, and I got to do it. You go and be great, and I'll be there before the curtain goes up... I promise.
Sue: Okay, but don't be late because if you miss the opening "Dream Dance Within a Dream Dance" sequence, the rest of the play won't make sense.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Whose locker is that?
Brad: It's the new girl's. I think her name is Savannah or something.
Sue: Have you talked to her?
Brad: [scoffs] I can't talk to her. I'm quarterback of the football team.
Sue: [scoffs] Well, I can't talk to her. I'm top cheerleader.
Brad: Look, somebody'll talk to her, maybe some uncool kids.
Sue: Mm-hmm. The new girl's not really our problem.
[As Sue and Brad run off stage for a costume change, Sue runs into the scenery]
Sue: Aah.
Quote from Mike
Axl: [gasps] God, I'm not even a part of this family anymore. Why do I have to sit through Sue's lame plays?
Mike: 'Cause it's a big deal to your sister, and for every hour you sit through it, you earn back a cushion.
Quote from Frankie
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: [on the phone] I'm sorry, but we don't control the weather. Yeah, if we did, it would be sunny all the time. [laughs]
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: I know, and I'm gonna get you to Tallahassee, if it's the I...
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: I-I-I'm sorry. Did I say Tallahassee? I meant Chicago!
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: I don't know what made me say Tallahassee!
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: No, I understand your frustration.
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
Frankie: And I am doing everything I can to resolve this to your satisfaction.
Automated Voice: Florida. Tallahassee.
[Frankie shakes the U.S. States toy to pieces]
Automated Voice: Wyoming. Cheyenne.
Quote from Sue
Sue: I am Bulimia. You hear me through the bathroom wall, but you ignore me.
Brad: I am depression. You give me a cinnamon roll and beg me to get off the couch.
Brick: [playing with a toy] Yes! [Mike takes the toy]
Sue: I am negative thoughts. You say you never have me. Liar!
Brad: I am A.D.D. medication prescribed by a doctor for your friend. You will use me to concentrate for finals. Fool! Now you are mine.
Sue: Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
Quote from Sue
Sue: You know, Clark, I wish we would have reached out to Savannah.
Brad: Savannah's gone. Forget about her. Instead, feel the wind in your hair in my jeep.
Sue: Maybe I could Instagram Savannah.
Brad: It's too late, Skyler. She left, and now she's beyond help.
Sue: But not completely beyond help because she has hope. But the point is it happened, and we will always, always remember...
Both: The Loneliest Locker. [applause]
Sue: I had a lonely locker.
Brad: I've had a lonely locker, too. Have you?
Sue: Or you? Or you? We've all had The Loneliest Locker. [applause]
Sue & Brad: [sing] The loneliest locker, enough's enough If we say "hi" to each other, high school won't be so tough And don't ignore somebody just 'cause they're new 'Cause that new somebody could someday be you The loneliest locker is forever open Never to close, we sure are hopin' 'Cause we've got the combination for love.
Brad: Everybody, come on down to the stage and hold hands with the person next to you. Come on. Don't be shy. We got the place till midnight.
Sue: Come on, everybody!
Sue & Brad: The loneliest locker is forever open Never to close, we sure are hopin' 'Cause we've got the combination for love
Quote from Mike
Frankie: Oh, she's so sweet and wonderful.
Mike: The best. How'd we get a kid this great?
Frankie: I have no idea.
Mike: She deserves to go to college wherever she wants, whatever it costs.
Frankie: No matter what it takes. Third jobs, even.
Mike: Done. [Frankie sighs] Just don't let her major in theater.