‘The Jump’
Season 5, Episode 6 - Aired November 13, 2013
Frankie is upset about always being the object of ridicule in her family. Axl needs Brick's help when three of his four professors tell him he's failing their class. Meanwhile, Sue unexpectedly makes the volleyball team.
Quote from Mike
Frankie: Wow! Sue made volleyball. Now, when she gets home, act surprised.
Mike: Oh, I don't have to act.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Sue, what the hell are you doing?
Sue: I'm practicing my jumps for the volleyball team. I am increasing my vertical, as they say. I have hit "Hello, high flyer" twice. But I'm still shooting for "You're my she-ro."
Axl: Well, you got those big boat feet. Use them.
Quote from Frankie
Sue: Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. W-we're seeing who can jump higher. I made the jumping meter myself.
Frankie: Oh. Yeah! Oh, that's clever.
Sue: Dad, try.
Mike: [raises his arm and touches the top level] I win.
Frankie: Well, that's not fair. You're 17 feet tall. Of course you're the queen of all awesome.
Quote from Brick
Mike: Frankie, what do you have going on there?
Frankie: I don't know. I just... I couldn't get up. Maybe it's... Maybe it's 'cause I'm wearing my work shoes.
Mike: Tennis shoes, yeah. The rubber soles made you stick to the ground.
Brick: [laughs] Hey, hey, did you guys think that she might be "allerngic" to jumping?
Frankie: Oh, oh. Are we gonna bring that up again?
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] So, ever since the jumping incident, I found myself just driving around in my car after all my errands were done. It was the one place where no one could criticize me.
Man: [o.s.] [horn honks] Nice driving, moron! Move!
Frankie: All right, all right.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] You know, I finally got what people like so much about dogs. He was there when I left for work. He was there when I got home. And he looked at me like I was the only person in the whole world. But unfortunately, he wasn't so nice to everyone else.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Dad, dad. Want to come watch my volleyball game? The team is doing pretty awesome this season.
Mike: I don't know. You think you might actually play?
Sue: No. But sometimes when the ball goes off the court, I go get it.
Mike: Well, I'm watching you now, so we're good.
Sue: But I made up a new cheer to say from the sidelines. [sings] We're gonna bump, set, and spike it, 'cause that's the way we like it!
Mike: Yeah. That's good. Not get-in-the-car good.
Quote from Mike
Announcer: [v.o.] And the Hens win!
Mike: Yes! [all cheer]
Team: [chant] Floorboard! Floorboard! Floorboard!
Mike: Floorboard! Floorboard!
Team: [chant] Floorboard! Floorboard! Floorboard! Floorboard!
Quote from Axl
Axl: [groans] Why is this so hard? It's way too much work and I don't understand how to do any of it.
Brick: Honestly, it's not that complex. I promise you'll get the hang of it. See, this goes here, and you're gonna want to put this information right up there... and that is how you drop Fundamentals Of Math.
Axl: Oh! I see. Okay. Hey, let me try and drop Philosophy on my own. But don't go anywhere, 'cause I might need you. All right. Uh-huh. I did it! Yes! I am kicking college's ass!
Quote from Mike
Mike: Okay. That's it. Frankie, you know what? We're getting rid of the dog.
Frankie: What? No, no, no. I told you. I'm gonna put up fliers.
Mike: You're not gonna put up fliers. E-everyone knows you're not gonna do that.
Frankie: I will. I-I-I just got to find some blank paper. Do you know how hard it is to find plain white paper in this house?
Mike: We already got an evil rabbit. We don't need another crazy animal around here.
Sue: He's kind of mean.
Axl: He's psycho.
Brick: He doesn't really add anything.