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‘The Graduation’ Quotes   Page 2 of 3  

The Middle: The Graduation

424. The Graduation

Aired May 22, 2013

As graduation day approaches, Frankie and Axl keep getting on each other's nerves. Sue is hopeful that the sixth time's a charm as she once again takes her driver's test. Meanwhile, Vice Principal Dunlap (Marion Ross) reminds Brick that he's the class historian and is responsible for putting together a slideshow of his elementary class's last four years.

Quote from Frankie

Axl: Somebody in our family better be dead right now, and not some weird cousin I've never met. I'm talking dad, Brick, or Sue.
Frankie: Nobody's dead, but if you don't get in my car right now, it can be arranged.
Axl: Just go, please, and I'll meet you outside in three minutes. [whispers] I promise.
Frankie: Yeah. You already promised to be home by 11:30, so I think the promise ship has sailed. Hi, Sean.
Axl: Oh! [grunts] You don't wanna do this, Mom, seriously. This is the most embarrassing thing any parent has ever done, ever.
Frankie: You sure about that? [dances] Ooh. I like this song.
Axl: What are you doing?
Frankie: I don't know. This groove kinda makes me feel like... gettin' down.
Axl: Mom, no. Don't do this to me. [Darren dances with Frankie] This is my last high school party. I can't end like this. Darrin! [laughter] [pulls hoodie over head and runs out] No! No!

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Quote from Frankie

Axl: You are the worst mother ever!
Frankie: Oh, tell me something I don't know.
Axl: Do you know how many years of cool you just erased with your stupid mama pajama dance?
Frankie: Hey, I thought very hard before I pulled that rip cord, but it's the only weapon I have left.
Axl: You know, you have been impossible lately. Maybe you should stop trying to boss me around all the time and talk to me like a person.
Frankie: What?! All I've been trying to do is talk to you, and you just keep running away. You gave me your word that you would be home an hour ago. "I'm Axl. I just give people my word without even thinking about what it means."
Axl: Oh, we're doing impressions now? Hmm? Okay. "I'm Mom. Uh, I never stop talking, and I'm in your face 24 hours a day."
Frankie: All right, that's it. I'm sick of your attitude! Get out of my sight!
Axl: Fine!
Frankie: Don't you walk away from me!

Quote from Mike

Frankie: I am going to kill him, I tell you! I'm gonna kill him.
Mike: Just relax. He's not gonna be here much longer.
Frankie: Then I'll have to act fast, won't I? I can't stand him, Mike. I just hate his stupid face. I swear to God, when he goes off to college, I'm not even gonna miss him.
Mike: Look, all this fighting is just nature's way of helping you guys deal with the fact he's leaving. You think mama birds push their babies out of the nest to help 'em fly? Maybe they're just sick of 'em. Trust me, Frankie. It's the natural order of things. It's why you guys have been annoying each other so much lately.
Frankie: I'm not doing anything. I'm being great. It's him.
Mike: Uh-huh. Are you in your pajamas with your coat on?
Frankie: I was cold, and I thought we were hating him right now.
Mike: He... is a bad, bad child, and you are a wonderful mother.
Frankie: Thank you.

Quote from Sue

Sue: I would just like to remind everyone that today is going to be our final ride together, and to thank you guys for all the good times we had, I baked some peanut butter cookies 'cause I know someone on this bus really likes peanut butter. Ha ha. And if you guys would like to thank me with a round of "For She's A Jolly Good Fellow," let's just say I would not hate that. Why don't I just get it started? [sings] For she's a jolly good fellow For she's a... jolly... [talks] You know, I have tried and tried with you guys all year. But you guys have no bus spirit. And you know what? I am a jolly good fellow. You guys aren't. You're bad fellows! [a boy whose hand is in a cast raises his arm] Yes, Brian?
Brian: I think I speak for all of us when I say please pass that test. Pass that test!
All: [chant] Pass that test! Pass that test! Pass that test! Pass that test! Pass that test! Pass that test!

Quote from Mike

Mike: Now remember, Sue, this is just like a car, only much bigger and harder to drive.
Sue: Why did Axl have to take your car? What if I fail again? I cannot get back on that bus, Dad.
Mike: Sue, listen to me. You have screwed up this driving test so many ways, I can't think of another mistake you could possibly make.
Sue: Aw! Thanks for the pep talk, Dad. Okay. Let's do this! Whoo!
Driving Instructor #1: Sue Heck.
[As Sue exhales, the three driving examiners play a game of Rock Paper Scissors behind her back to see who will examine her test]

Quote from Mike

Sue: Did I mention that the examiner said it was the single greatest piece of driving he's ever seen?
Frankie: I'm sure you did great, honey.
Mike: Yeah. She did do great. Sue, you're an excellent driver.
Sue: [gasps] Can I drive the family to graduation?
Mike: Absolutely not.

Quote from Mike

Frankie: You are not going anywhere in those socks!
Axl: Aah! You're hurting me! You're hurting your son!
Frankie: We are civilized people. There are rules to society, and you're gonna learn 'em, damn it!
Axl: She's crazy! Your wife is crazy!
Mike: Should've put a fence around this place a long time ago.

Quote from Frankie

Frankie: [v.o.] As I watched my first son about to become a high school graduate, I realized that Mike was right. There is a natural order to things, and by the time they go, you're ready.
Principal Cameron: Axl Heck.
Sean: Whoo!
Frankie: [voice breaking] I'm not ready! [sobs]
Principal Cameron: Brian Hedberg.
Frankie: [sobs] Oh, no.
Principal Cameron: Good luck at computer school.
Frankie: I'm not ready! [sobs]
Principal Cameron: Mark Hef- [Frankie sobbing loudly] Mark Hefferman. [Frankie cries] Jessica [sobbing continues] Sarah Humphreys.

Quote from Frankie

Sue: [Frankie hugs her] Mom, since there's no party, would it be okay if I went over to Carly's and showed her my license? Please? I have been waiting for this day for so long.
Frankie: [exhales deeply] Sure.
Sue: Aah!
Frankie: [hugs Brick] Never leave me.
Brick: Don't worry. I won't. [whispers] Worry. Whoop!
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, all the work that goes into raising a kid the heartache, the laughter, the worry, the tears it really does go by in the blink of an eye. And all those annoying little things that seemed so important... who even remembers what they were?

Quote from Sue

Sue: Excuse me, everyone. As you know, I'm taking my driver's exam on Friday, and since the sixth time is the charm, I would like to make our last week on the bus together a week to remember, and I would like to kick it off by having my bus buddies, AKA you guys, sign my yearbook. Yeah?
Frankie: [v.o.] Yep, it was the end of an era, 'cause for Sue, the bus wasn't just the bus. It was a rolling yellow memory making machine.
Sue: Thanks, guys. I'm really gonna cherish this. [opens yearbook to find a sandwich] Ha ha. Very funny, guys. I hope not having lunch today was worth that prank.

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