Woman: [on machine] Hello, you've reached the Siccolas. Please leave a message.
Sue: [on the phone] Hello, Mrs. Siccola.
Brick: [whispers] Allison.
Sue: I mean, Allison. This is Frances Heck, mother of Brick Heck. Sadly, Brick will be unable to attend Kevin's birthday party this Saturday. Please accept our sincere regrets. Bye. Oh, this is Frances Heck, mother of Brick Heck.

Frankie: Hey, guys. I just heard some sad news. Your Great-Great-Uncle Mac died.
Sue: Oh, my God. No. [cries]
Frankie: Oh, it's okay, honey. I know it's hard. But he had a good long life.
Brick: Was he the one who used to wear suspenders?
Frankie: No, that's your Uncle Nate.
Sue: It is?
Brick: I thought Uncle Nate was the one with the big toe for a thumb.
Sue: That's Uncle Lou.
Brick: No, Uncle Lou's the one who can take out his eye.
Frankie: No, that's your cousin Roy. Uncle Mac was your Aunt Edie's favorite brother. You only met him once when you were very little.
Brick: Oh. So the one with a big toe for a thumb is still okay? We should visit him sometime. He's funny.

Brick: I don't get it. Why hasn't Mom punished us yet? She must know. Or does she? [whispers] Does she?

Frankie: [v.o.] Out here in the middle, family rules. It's ingrained from the day you're born. You do for family. For the past year, I've spent every Saturday taking care of my great aunts, Edie and Ginny. I drive them to the grocery store, liquor store, and whatever else they need to get them through to next Saturday. But this Saturday I had a problem.
Frankie: Mr. Ehlert's making us all come in today. I think he's trying to break our spirit by isolating us from the ones we love.
Mike: I can't do the aunts either. We're both maxed out.
Axl: Hey, could you keep it down in there? I'm trying to watch TV.
Frankie: [v.o.] And that's when it hit me. The lump eating cereal on the couch in his underpants had a driver's license.

Frankie: Brick? Kevin Siccola invited you to his birthday party next Saturday? How long has this invitation been in your backpack?
Brick: Oh, sorry. [throws the invite in the trash]
Frankie: Brick, that's not very nice. Come on, this will be fun.
Brick: I don't wanna go. He only invited me because his mom made him invite everyone.
Frankie: Hey, you don't know that.
Brick: Yes, I do, he told me when he gave me the invitation.
Mike: You know how you're gonna get him back? You show up.
Brick: So you're forcing me?
Frankie: We would never call it that, but yes.

Mr. Ehlert: Hey, wait up.
Frankie: Faster. Walk faster.
Mr. Ehlert: I was just thinking... Now, my team's not in it this year, and it'd just be painful for me to watch. So, uh...
Mike: Oh, my God. These are tickets to the Final Four.
Mr. Ehlert: Yep, both games on Saturday.
Mike: I don't know what to say.
Mr. Ehlert: That's what I like about you.
Frankie: Mr. Ehlert, this is too generous... for my husband, who doesn't even work here.
Mr. Ehlert: Yeah, blah, blah, I get it. You just have yourself a good time there, Stretch. And, Frances, you were 10 minutes late this morning. Come in early tomorrow or I'll dock you.

Sue: Well, then, maybe you should just suck it up and go.
Brick: Or you could call as Mom and tell her I can't come.
Sue: What...? Brick, I can't do that.
Brick: Sure you can. You have such a grown-up voice.
Sue: Really?
Brick: Wow, you sounded so mature when you just said that. [chuckles] Please, Sue, if you do this for me, I'II... I'll do your math homework. You'll get an A, I promise.

Frankie: What do you mean you're not sure who you're taking?
Mike: I'm just saying. He gave me the tickets. I have to weigh my options. [Axl yawns]
Frankie: Well, taking anyone other than your wife to the Final Four is a dangerous option.
Axl: You have tickets to the Final four? No way, you can't take Mom. She wouldn't even appreciate it.
Mike: I'll see who treats me best in the next couple days, and that person gets to go with me on Saturday. Gee, I wish I weren't so thirsty. [Axl runs to the kitchen] Of course I'm taking you. I just wanna see how far I can push this. [Axl returns with a bottle of beer] No frosty mug?
Frankie: [answers phone] Oh, hi, Aunt Edie.
Axl: [returns with a bottle of beer and a glass] Ah.
Mike: Now, if there were only some way to get this into this.

Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Frankie: Oh, it was Aunt Edie, she called to tell me my Great-Uncle Mac died.
Mike: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
Frankie: Yeah. He was 91. You know, I hadn't seen him that much lately, but when I was little, every time we visited him, he'd give us a slice of bologna. [both chuckle] He was Aunt Edie's favorite brother. She's pretty upset.
Mike: Oh, jeez.
Frankie: They're shipping him back for the funeral. It's gonna be Saturday.
Mike: Saturday, huh? This Saturday?

Mike: So this funeral... It's really on Saturday?
Frankie: Yeah, that's what she said. Hey, does your sport coat still fit? Oh, and don't wait till the last minute to see if you have a shirt.
Mike: Huh. Seems like there's a lot to do. Tsk. I'm thinking they should just maybe push it till Sunday.
Frankie: What?
Mike: Oh, I don't know. Just Sunday seems like a better day. You know, the Lord's day and all that. Saturday... Not such a great funeral day to me.
Frankie: Yeah. Well, that's what day it is, Mike. Besides, what do you care what day the...? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, if you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting, you are opening a door you do not want to open.
Mike: It's the Final Four, Frankie. Final Four.
Frankie: It's his funeral, Mike. Final funeral.
Mike: I know, but... Is anyone really gonna miss me if I can't be there? If it was immediate family, I'd definitely go.
Frankie: Well, it just might be if you keep go down this road.
Mike: Come on. I barely knew the guy. I met him at our wedding and, like, one other time. I thought he was the guy with the toe for a thumb, too.