‘The Christmas Tree’
Season 5, Episode 9 - Aired December 11, 2013
Frankie is excited to have Axl home for the holidays but he would rather spend time with his friends. Brick inadvertently masterminds a Ponzi scheme when he must find a way to pay the school back for the Christmas wrapping paper he was supposed to sell. Meanwhile, Sue discovers she is allergic to real Christmas trees.
Quote from Sue
Mike: Hey. What's going on with your arms? Are you breaking out in hives?
Sue: Hives? No, Dad don't be silly. These are just excitement bumps because I am so pumped for Christmas. [sneezes]
Frankie: There she goes. Time to rinse again.
Quote from Axl
Axl: All right, have fun making cookies with Megaphone Boy and Snot Cousteau. BT-dubs, Joe's party's gonna be slammin'. So, uh, don't wait up for me. [sings] Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-lame [chuckles] There, I went caroling. That's a freebie.
Quote from Sue
Sue: A little higher a-and just a tad lower. Hi, Mom. Isn't this a great idea? I can still see the tree from here, but I'm not sneezing anymore. I am gonna stay in here all Christmas! Okay. Now, lower still. Unh-unh. Split the difference.
Quote from Axl
Courtney: Do you want to ride with us to the bonfire? They're asking people to carpool 'cause the party's gonna be so huge, right, Deb?
Debbie: Totally. All the cheerleaders are coming, even the new Swedish girl who just broke up with her boyfriend.
Axl: Oh! Seriously, I need to go to this bonfire, please. I'm not above begging here. Please, I've never asked you for anything in my life!
Frankie: First of all, you have. Second of all, no. It's Christmas Eve. You committed to being with the family. End of story.
Courtney: Wow. Your grandma's really strict. Isn't she, Deb?
Debbie: Super strict. Well, bye, Axl. We'll think of you when we're doing our naked polar-bear plunge in Briar's Pond. [both exit]
Quote from Sue
Frankie: Hey, Sue. What you doing out here?
Sue: I finally figured out a way to enjoy the tree and still breathe. So pretty.
Frankie: Well, it really is. I'm glad we got the big tree this year.
Sue: Me too.
Frankie: Next year, we're getting an artificial one.
Sue: I know.