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The Christmas Miracle

‘The Christmas Miracle’

Season 9, Episode 10 -  Aired December 12, 2017

Frankie is shocked when Axl says he won't be going to the church Christmas service. Mike tries to keep an inflatable snowman safe from the Glossners. Meanwhile, Brick goes all out as he is finally allowed to wrap a present.

Quote from Brick

Shelly: I'm next. Should I just pick?
Frankie: I don't know. We're kind of in a Yankee Swap holding pattern.
Brick: Isn't there a rule that if someone doesn't open theirs, we just move on to the most meticulously wrapped one on the table?


Quote from Sean Donahue

Sue: Hey, Sean. Are you okay? Everybody's waiting for you.
Sean: What? Oh, I, uh... I just got a text from a buddy, said grades were posted, and I checked them, and I didn't do so well.
Sue: Oh! Oh, gosh. I'm sorry. But it's probably not as bad as you think it is.
Sean: Sue, I got three B's and two... two of those things that come after "B."
Sue: Okay. [clears throat] Okay, look. I know this has gotta be really hard for you, but don't worry. Axl got lots of C's, and he just got a job selling plumbing supplies.

Quote from Mike

Ron: Thanks, Mike. I'm not... at my physical best. They tell me I got hit by a car last week.
Diaper Glossner: Let go of me!
Mike: Where's the snowman? Somebody took it off the roof.
Diaper Glossner: None of your damn business!
Ron: Hey, you little jerk! I saw what you did to Mrs. Claus, and I can't unsee it. Do you respect nothing?! You tell him, Mike. I'm about to throw up Bwine.
Mike: Look, you want to know why I kept putting the snowman back out there? It's not because I need a snowman in my front yard. I'm not that guy. It's 'cause I thought, at some point, you would realize that what you were doing was not right, but you never did. Look, you're not in diapers anymore. Okay, scratch that. The point is, you've gotta figure out what kind of man you're gonna be.
Diaper Glossner: Sorry. I just never had no daddy to tell me right from wrong. I thought maybe you could tell me.
Mike: Well, you can blame your parents all you want, but at some point, it's on you.
Diaper Glossner: But you didn't let me finish. I thought maybe you can tell me, but you can't... 'cause you're a woman!
Ron: Should we go after him?
Mike: No point. But for a kid carrying a full load, he sure can run.

Quote from Brick

Frankie: Oh, Brick.
Brick: I'm actually happy nobody picked it. They'd just rip it apart like a Philistine. I'm gonna keep it just like this, put it up on my shelf, and admire it forever.
Frankie: Mm. [phone rings inside box] Is that your phone?
Brick: I hate this game.

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