‘Thanksgiving VIII’
Season 8, Episode 6 - Aired November 22, 2016
With Axl and April spending so much time together, Frankie struggles to find a moment to take the family Christmas photo with just the five of them. Frankie shuffles their Thanksgiving plans around when Axl announces he'll be joining April's family for dinner. Meanwhile, Sue is uneasy when Brick gets a job at Spudsy's.
Quote from Sue
Frankie: [v.o.] Sometimes, siblings working together is a beautiful thing... Donny and Marie, Venus and Serena, The Property Brothers. Sue and Brick... not so much.
Sue: How many pumps were you planning on there, cowboy? One pumps? Two pumps?
Brick: I hadn't really thought about it.
Sue: Well, you kind of have to think about it, Brick. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is the show.
Brick: Mm-hmm.
Sue: So when I ask you, "How many pumps are you planning?", you need to have an answer.
Brick: Three.
Sue: Wow! Did you just win the lottery? Pbht! Did you just buy Spudsy's? Are we called Bricksy's now? 'Cause I can't think of any other way this place can afford to be giving away it's 20% real-cheese product.
It is one pump, one tap.
Brick: [over PA] Um, Tim, your...
Sue: "Um"? Really? Brick, this is a hot mic. You don't step up to it till you know exactly what you're going to say.
Brick: Tim, your order's ready.
Sue: Wrong! There is a very specific script. "Tim, your potato is ready. Your potato is ready, Tim." You start with the name and you end with the name. If you don't end with Tim and Tim didn't hear anything till the last word, who's getting that potato? Not Tim!
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Okay, I think I found a way to make it work. I put Doris' head on April's body. What do you think?
Mike: Why don't you put her head on all our bodies and have us playing poker? Then at least it'll be funny.
Frankie: Damn it! I thought it was a home run. Now we're gonna have to take it again. Why did he have to have her in the picture? You see what's happening here, Mike? He's cementing the relationship. He wants her in a photo. Then he's gonna have to have her for all the holidays. [gasps] Oh, my God. Thanksgiving. All right, you know what? I'm not a bad person. I'm not gonna say she can't come. We have to think of a reason that she can't come that won't hurt her feelings. We have to come up with a plan! Why don't we ever have a plan? We didn't have a plan for the picture. We don't have a plan for Thanksgiving. We got to start making plans around here.
Mike: [gets up] I'll get a pen.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Okay, you're not gonna believe this. Axl wasn't planning on coming home for Thanksgiving dinner.
Sue: What? What do you mean? He has to be here.
Frankie: It's okay. I saved it. I saved Thanksgiving. They got to see a bunch of April's family, so we're just gonna do it here at 8:00.
Mike: 8:00?
Brick: That's so late. We're gonna be starving.
Frankie: No, no, no, no. 8:00 a.m.
Mike: 8:00 in the morning?!
Frankie: Yeah. It's perfect. We always wake up hungry. Now we can eat right away.
Quote from Sue
Sue: Ugh. This is so unfair. Why do our Thanksgiving plans have to be ruined just because the timing doesn't work out for "Ap-ril."
Frankie: Say her name again.
Sue: April.
Frankie: That's not how you said it. You said "Ap-ril."
Sue: No, no, no. I don't think I did.
Frankie: You don't like her.
Sue: No! No, no, no, no! That's not true. I love everybody.
Frankie: You don't like her!
Sue: Okay, fine! I don't like her! There! I said it!
Frankie: Thank you!
Sue: Ugh. She went to the bathroom one time and she blew her nose into my jeans. She said, "Sorry. I thought they were a towel." Who blows their nose into a towel?!
Quote from Mike
Brick: I don't like her, either! Cindy said she cannot get a conversation going with her. And Cindy can talk to anybody.
Frankie: And she doesn't like ice cream. [Sue gasps] See?! I mean, all I wanted was a nice Thanksgiving. I just want to make my powder potatoes with Sue while you and Axl sit on the couch and watch sports and Brick does whatever it is he does.
Mike: Wait, he's still coming back for the Colts game that night, right?
Frankie: No. He's not coming back. Grandma Tee-Tee lives in Akron!
Mike: What? Wait, no! That is not okay!
Frankie: Oh, now he wakes up!
Mike: Hey! I never liked this girl. I liked the other ones, you know? The... The... The smart one with the red hair and the sporty one from college. But I never had a good feeling about this girl. And I will tell you right now... if he doesn't come home to watch the Colts game, I don't have a son anymore.
Brick: Um, yeah, you do.
Frankie: Well, buckle up, buttercup, 'cause it happened to Betty Horrigan, and it can happen to us. [eats pie] [spits out] Gross. That's ours.
Quote from Brick
Sue: Thank you, And remember... consider Spudsy's for your next birthday party! Potatoes... it's like a cupcake but from the dirt. [to Brick] You're adding too many jalapeños.
Brick: Sue, I know what I'm doing.
Sue: Clearly you don't.
Brick: Stop.
Sue: There's only supposed to be one jalapeño per...
Brick: No! No! Stop!
Sue: Don't touch them with your hands!
Brick: [over PA] Toby, your potato is ready. Your potato is ready, Toby.
Sue: [over PA] Toby, your potato is not ready. Your potato is not ready, Toby.
Brick: Don't bring Toby into this! This is between you and me! Why won't you let me do my job?!
Sue: I would, but it takes too... Aah! [groans]
Brick: What's wrong?
Sue: Jalapeño eye! It burns!
Brick: It does? [touches jalapeños and then eyes] Aah! [over PA] Toby, call for help! Call for help, Toby!
Quote from Axl
Frankie: Okay, Axl's coming over and we're taking another crack at the Christmas photo. And shut up. I am sending it out!
Sue: Okay, well, won't April be with him?
Frankie: No. I took care of that. I texted him that Dad's having chest pains and that he should come alone 'cause he knows Dad wouldn't be comfortable dying in front of strangers.
Axl: [enters] Mom! Mom! [pants] Where's my chair?
Frankie: What?
Axl: You texted me, "Dad has chair plans."
Frankie: I texted, "Dad has chest pains."
Axl: Oh, my God. So I'm not getting a chair?
Frankie: Just put on the shirt. We're retaking the Christmas picture.
Axl: But I thought Dad had chest pains.
Frankie: Y... False alarm. You know your dad. He's very dramatic.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: Are you kidding me? We're eating at the crack of dawn so they can go to Akron to see her babysitter? She's not even related!
Brick: And, by the way, not a good babysitter 'cause she obviously dropped April on her head a few times.
Sue: Try a few hundred times.
Mike: So, this girl just controls everything now? She's calling the shots? Is that what's happening?
Frankie: I mean, I would get it if she's some great catch, but she's not. Axl could have had his pick of anyone and he picks April? [Axl stands behind Frankie] She's a moron, an idiot. If breathing wasn't automatic, she'd be dead! Axl. Oh, God. [sighs] No. It's out there now, so I'm just gonna say it. This is not the girl for you. You are special. You are special, Axl, and April is just not! Yes, she's nice and innocent and she's got big eyes and she's like a baby deer in human form, but she's not good enough for you! And, yeah, I'm the Boy Mom, and I should just shut up and smile and wear yellow, but not for this girl. I will not stand by quietly and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life. She is not the one for you, Axl! She's not the one!
Quote from Nancy Donahue
Frankie: [v.o.] Ah, Thanksgiving... the sweet aroma of a home-cooked meal... that wasn't ours.
Nancy: Knock, knock! Look who's here!
Mike: Hey!
Nancy: Can you believe it? He's back. Look at that face! Touch it. No! Touch his face with your face.
Frankie: Oh. Mm, satiny!
Nancy: You want to touch it, Mike?
Mike: I don't even touch Frankie's face.
Frankie: He doesn't. So, Sean, it's nice to see your chin again. To what do we owe this change?
Sean: Well, Mrs. Heck, I did great on my MCATs, and I'm waiting to hear back from med schools, and honestly, I just couldn't take the crying anymore.
Nancy: It worked! [chuckles]
Quote from Nancy Donahue
Mike: So what's in the dish?
Nancy: Ooh! This is my sweet potato casserole. You have to make it a week before Thanksgiving 'cause the cinnamon's got to settle in just right. But our oven's on the fritz. That's what I get for ordering a part from overseas. Would you mind terribly if I used yours? Unless you're using it.
Frankie: I am, but... [removes the quilt] this can go anywhere.
Nancy: Oh, you're the best. Okay, we got to dash. I saw the Norwoods packing up their car, and I need them to feel Sean's face before they go.
Sean: Hey, when you see Axl, tell him I'm in town and I want to see him.
Frankie: How about if you see Axl, tell him I want to see him?