Thanksgiving Quotes   Page 2 of 3  

Thanksgiving Quotes

Enjoy a selection of holiday quotes from Thanksgiving episodes of The Middle.

Quote from Mike in Thanksgiving V

Frankie: Besides, Thanksgiving's not a big deal this year. I got it covered. Your dad and Rusty are not gonna be here. Aunt Edie's in Branson. There's no Marines to offend. It's just the five of us and my parents. Oh, by the way, you got to go pick up my parents.
Mike: What?
Frankie: My mom's got that foot thing again, and my dad has decided he's no longer fit to drive. [off Mike's look] Well, he isn't.
Mike: Well, I know, but give it a shot. She'll steer. He'll step on the gas. Let's be creative about this. They're only going 10 miles an hour, anyway.
Frankie: Mike.
Mike: What? He can't just decide this. He's supposed to have a couple wrecks. You know, back into a supermarket, and then we have a family meeting, and we take his keys. That's how it's done.


Quote from Mike in Thanksgiving II

Frankie: Well, at least we'll still have my aunts and your dad. You invited your dad, didn't you?
Mike: Yeah, of course. You asked me to. I'll do it.
Frankie: Oh, come on!
Mike: Just he makes it so damn hard. He's gonna say that he doesn't want to be a bother, and I'm gonna say, "You won't be," and he'll say, "Oh, I don't know," and I'm gonna wind up begging him to please, please, please come to Thanksgiving. It happens every year.
Frankie: I want family in this house, Mike. Otherwise it's not Thanksgiving. It's just overeating.

Quote from Sue in Thanksgiving VI

Sue: Wait a minute. What's going on? Are we not having Thanksgiving at home this year?
Frankie: Sue, take a look around this place.
Sue: But we have to stay home. Thanksgiving's not Thanksgiving without Frugal Hoosier canned corn, Safeway boxed stuffing, and CVS pumpkin pie.

Quote from Mike in Thanksgiving VII

Brick: Hm. So, Dad, looks like it's just you and me at home. Maybe we can do something together.
Mike: Well, I'm gonna be watching football all day, but, uh, you're welcome to do something right over there.

Quote from Frankie in Thanksgiving V

Frankie: [v.o.] Thanksgiving: the early settlers discovering America, the pilgrims and Indians coming together, a celebration of the American spirit. Or it used to be. Now it's just a pit stop on the racetrack to Christmas.
Frankie: There she is. Ready for some midnight madness?
Sue: So ready. Not to give anything away, but since I have a job now and some potato money to burn, some people are gonna be getting some pretty great presents this year.
Mike: Hmm.
Axl: Let me help you with that, Mom.
Mike: You really want to go shopping the night before Thanksgiving?
Frankie: No choice, Mike. The Pioneer Galaxy Mall has moved Black Friday up to Wednesday. Tonight, everything is 60% off. We wait till Friday, it's only 30% off. I keep talking to you, it's gonna cost me another 10%.

Quote from Frankie in Thanksgiving

Frankie: Okay. Got the new Thanksgiving schedule. It's a little funky. We're gonna have to eat dessert on the way home. And there's one patch midday where I'm gonna have to be in two places at the same time. But I think a test drive or a long bathroom break will take care of it. So, yeah, I think I pretty much nailed it.
Brick: I don't see the corn maze on here. It's only open in the morning, then they're plowing it down.
Frankie: Brick, I'm gonna teach you a little phrase that I think will come in very handy. I call it, "Oh, well."
Axl: You know, we went to Disneyland before you were born. It was awesome.
Frankie: [v.o.] Poor Brick. He was the forgotten third child. But there was no way I could go back in to Mr. Ehlert. He was gonna have to understand that.
[cut to Frankie in Mr. Ehlert's office:]
Frankie: Now the kidney is coming on an earlier flight. I need to switch to the morning so I can drive the kidney to the hospital. It's an HMO.

Quote from Mike in Thanksgiving VI

Frankie: [v.o.] Thanksgiving. What do the Hecks and the Pilgrims have in common? No indoor plumbing.
Mike: How many times do I have to tell you? Coffeepot is stream. Ice tray is mist.
Frankie: Mm. Okay, listen, Mike. I was thinking. You know how we always say only losers and sad, pathetic people go out to dinner for Thanksgiving?
Mike: So are you saying we're going out this year?
Frankie: No. Well, yes, but not 'cause we're losers. 'Cause we have a floor sink and a tiny table.
Mike: Don't exactly sound like winners.
Frankie: Okay, just... just follow me here. I saw an ad in the paper that King Henry's Feast is doing a Thanksgiving buffet, and it's only $7.99 a person. They're doing all the Thanksgiving staples, plus their full complement of international cuisine. And as an added bonus, we don't have to do the dishes in the bathtub.
Mike: You don't have to convince me to leave this house. Long as I get some turkey, I'm fine.

Quote from Pat in Thanksgiving III

Frankie: So, Mom... What's the plan? When are you gonna start cooking tomorrow? Mike's been dreaming about your famous sweet potatoes.
Pat: Oh, don't worry, Mike. You're gonna get your sweet potatoes. This year, I prepared everything ahead of time and I froze it. Made these babies in July. After all, Thanksgiving is about the family, not the food.
Mike: It's a little about the food.

Quote from Cindy in Thanksgiving VI

Brick: Hi, Cindy. I like your dress.
Cindy: It has turkeys on it. [car drives off]
Mike: What kind of parents just dump their 12-year-old on Thanksgiving and take off?
Frankie: You're just mad you didn't think of it first.

Quote from Frankie in Thanksgiving VI

Frankie: Whoo! There's a reason they didn't have taquitos at the first Thanksgiving. If I can just rally a burp here, I might be able to squeeze in a piece of zebra cake.

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