Sue: Okay, listen, uh... there's something I've been thinking about. I told my mom, and she said it was a good idea, but I wanted to run it by you.
Brad: Oh. Go.
Sue: Well... I have decided to give Sean my snow globe. You know, 'cause he always calls me his special snowflake. So I figured I would just do it and tell him how I feel and that I liked the kiss. I liked it a lot. What do you think?
Brad: I think it's a great idea. I'm so happy with Luke, and I want you to be happy so I don't have to subvert my happiness when I'm around you.
Sue: Alright, let's leave it to the fates. If the next jellybean I pick is green, then I'll go for it. [squeals] Yellow. I said "yellow," right?
Brad: I heard "yellow."

Dr. Fulton: Well, I'd like to thank you both for coming down. And... And let me just start by saying... this is not my favorite thing to do. This is uncomfortable for everyone.
Frankie: Look, this isn't our first rodeo, so just tell us how weird, how inappropriate...
Mike: And how much it's gonna cost.
Dr. Fulton: Here's the thing... um... seems he's been incessantly... making out... all over school.
Mike: W-With a person?
Dr. Fulton: What?
Mike: Not with a locker?
Dr. Fulton: No. Brick and this girlfriend of his, they, uh... well, they just go at it all the time. [Mike smiles]
Frankie: Mike!

Dr. Fulton: And I don't want to see Brick hurt. Truth is, of all the students who've come through my office, he's the one I'll remember the most. You know, I even like to think that we're somewhat similar, you know. I was not always the heppest cat in school. But I think it's nice that Brick has found someone in Cindy, just as I, myself, have reconnected with the love of my life... Shelley. Don't let anyone tell you that stalking doesn't work.
Frankie: Well, thank you. Uh, thank you so much. And we take this very seriously. I mean, this is troubling to both of us... mostly Mike, 'cause he's in charge of the boys.

Brad: You got the snow globe?
Sue: Got the globe.
Brad: You know what you're gonna say?
Sue: I know what I'm gonna say. Uh, but I don't want to say it right now because I've practiced it in the mirror a thousand times, and I don't want it to sound over-rehearsed. Okay, teeth check.
Brad: You're good.
Sue: Booger check.
Brad: Clean.
Sue: Okay, this is it, Brad. This is really it.

Brad: Who's that?
Sue: Oh, then you see her, too?
Brad: It's probably nothing. I mean, she looks older... like 24.
Sue: Sean's 24.
Brad: Yeah, but she doesn't even look like a college student.
Sue: Sean's not in college, either. He's in medical school.
Brad: Well, maybe it was purely a medical hug, like, uh, like a front Heimlich or something.
Sue: I didn't see any food shooting out of her mouth. Oh, my God. Brad, how am I supposed to compete with that?
Brad: Okay, maybe she's older and more mature and womanly, but you've got this... whole panda thing working for you.

Frankie: I still can't believe Brick making out all over school. [Mike smiles] Mike!
Mike: What? I can't be happy my kid's getting a little action?
Frankie: No, it doesn't work that way. Look, if you're a football player and a cheerleader making out at school, it's cool. If you're president of the Font Club making out with a girl that's 9 feet tall wearing a safari hat, it's just a freak show. I-I mean, you know Brick. You know he has issues with social cues.
Mike: Oh, come on. We've had so many issues. Can't we be done? When are we out of this thing?
Frankie: Well, we had kids, so never. Look, you're gonna have to talk to Brick.
Mike: What? Why me? Why do I got to talk to him?
Frankie: 'Cause a guy needs to hear this kind of thing from his dad. You know, all that stuff about how to treat a lady and what's appropriate and PDA. Did you cover any of this when you gave him the sex talk? [off Mike's look] You didn't give him the sex talk?
Mike: I didn't think we'd have to!
Frankie: Well, you have to, Mike. You have to.

Sue: You know, it's a blessing I didn't get to tell Sean how I feel. I'm not ready. I need to be more sophisticated. Now let's pretend we're at the end of a shopping montage and I'm fixed. How did you get me there?
Brad: Okay. Well... I'm seeing you as a Jessica Chastain type with a touch of Emma Stone... but with hats.
Sue: [gasps] I love hats! [puts on a turtle hat]
Brick: No. Sorry. Just cutting through.
Sue: Brad's teaching me how to dress.
Brad: Hmm. Dad's teaching me how to kiss girls in the woods.

Frankie: What were you doing?
Mike: I was gonna kiss you.
Frankie: Why?
Mike: 'Cause I realized it's been a... while, and I was trying to be romantic. You're the one who's always harping on me to be more romantic.
Frankie: Fine, but don't be lurking behind me, like a serial killer. Used to be you'd send me some signals. You'd put on that song, you'd light a scented candle. I knew where things were going. I had time to shave stuff.
Mike: Forget it.
Frankie: Hey, it was only an hour ago you told me my pee smelled. Sorry if I'm not in a romantic mood.
Mike: Never mind. Moment passed.

Mike: You know what, Brick? Have at it. Kiss Cindy wherever and whenever you want to. You're gonna be old before you know it. It goes by fast. And if they give you any trouble at school, I got your back.

Brad: Excellent. But just to be super picky, you were playing with your hair the whole time.
Sue: Ugh. Seriously? Ugh! I didn't even realize I was doing it. Okay, um... Maybe if I keep my hands in my back pockets. No. Or under my armpits? Okay, this is crazy. [sighs] Sean either likes me for who I am or he doesn't, and if he doesn't, it's not meant to be.
Brad: There. You have just become Jessica Chastain before my eyes. Just one little thing... I did some light snooping on your competition. Her name is Kelly Marie Dannemiller, and she was Oklahoma's Junior Miss, second runner-up to America's Junior Miss. She spoke out against human trafficking, and she yodels. Did you want to know that?
Sue: I don't even care. It doesn't matter! I am taking the snow globe over to Sean, and I am telling him how I feel. No more chickening out.
Brad: Okay. Good. Then I'm not even gonna tell you she's self-taught on the ukulele.
Sue: Good for her.