Frankie: Brick, listen, I'm sorry.
Brick: It's okay. I could tell you really weren't interested in what I had to say anyway. People often aren't. But the reason I kept you for last is because you're the person I don't get to spend as much time with as I want to.
Frankie: [v.o.] Ow! Ow! Ow!
Frankie: [sighs] Brick, h-here's the thing. I was just tired, you know. And I didn't mean that thing about "normal." Who's normal? No one in this house.
Brick: I guess when you said I could have anything I wanted for my birthday, I got a little drunk with power. I was pushing it.
Frankie: No, Brick, really. This is what you wanted for your birthday, and I blew it, and [sighs] I'm just sorry. Hey. What other words have all the vowels besides that no-lips thing?
Brick: Oh. Well, there's "abstemious," "arsenious," "facetious"...

Sue: He-e-y!
Brad: Hey. What's wrong with your back?
Sue: [laughs] Nothing. So... what... is... up? [giggles] What? Am I being a big flirt? Maybe even the biggest flirt in the senior class? [hits head on locker] [gasps] Oh! Oh. Ah.
Brad: Sue, I am the wrong person for you to be flirting with. I'm on the committee that counts the votes. It wouldn't look right.
Sue: Well, if I want to be best flirt, I need someone to flirt with.
Brad: Hey, look. There's Riley. I bet he'd be fun to flirt with. Just guessing. No reason.
Sue: Mmmmm. Hey, Riley.
Riley: Are you bleeding?
Sue: You tell me. Am I bleeding?
Riley: I just did. You're bleeding.
Sue: Oh! Oh, my God. I'm bleeding. I got to go to the nurse. [giggles] But I'll catch up with you la-ter. [rubs blood on his white t-shirt]

Frankie: Brick, your dad and I feel really, really bad about forgetting your birthday.
Brick: Oh, it's okay.
Mike: All right. Sleep tight, buddy.
Frankie: No, it's not okay. Your 13th birthday is a big deal. You're about to become a teenager.
Brick: I've been a teenager for three months.
Frankie: [sighs] Right. And t-that's why we've decided that you can do whatever you want. Your choice, Brick... anything at all.
Brick: Really? Hmm. Well, some kids at my school have bowling parties. I mean, I've never been invited, but they talk about them in front of me, and it sounds pretty fun.
Mike: Okay, then. Bowling party it is.

Sue: So, what do you think? Best hair, huh?
Frankie: Wow. Yeah, beautiful. But maybe a little dramatic for school.
Sue: Oh, I have to be dramatic. I am competing against Carrie Carmona, who has the best beachy waves in all of Orson, so I really got to bring it. [gasps] And bonus... it covers the gash on my scalp. Wish me luck.

Frankie: Okay, Brick. Here's your invitations. Make sure you pass them out and look everyone in the eye, okay? Oh. And mention the free game tokens. That's a big seller with the kids, and not everybody does that.
Brick: Got it. Totally under control. [walks away]
Frankie: Brick... invitations. [hands Brick the invitations]
Brick: Oh. Right.

Devin: 'Sup? Sorry I'm late. Got accosted in the hall by your ex.
Axl: I don't know who you're talking about, 'cause I don't have any ex-girlfriends that go to this school.
Devin: Yeah, well, she just showed me pictures from three different proms that say otherwise. Admit it... you were a nerd in high school.
Axl: Oh, my God! You're nuts! I mean, look at me! There's no way I would have ever dated Weird Ashley.
Devin: Okay, I got to stop you a sec 'cause it's kind of obnoxious you keep calling her "Weird Ashley."
Axl: Sorry, but that's her name. I got to distinguish her from Hot Ashley and Smart Ashley. I mean, look, it's just a classification system.
Devin: You know, I don't know if I love the way I'm hearing you talk about people.
Axl: What?
Devin: "Smart Ashley," "Hot Ashley"... kind of wondering if you have an insulting little nickname like that for me.

Frankie: Brick, what happened? You didn't hand them out.
Brick: I did, but then I got to thinking... you said I could do whatever I want for my birthday. I believe the quote was "anything at all." So I realized I don't want a big party. What I really want is just to spend time with my family.
Frankie: Oh, that's so sweet.
Brick: Yeah. I've decided I'd like a whole day where my family gives me their undivided attention so I can share the things that are of interest to me.
Frankie: A whole day, huh? Are you sure that's what you want, Brick? You know, I wouldn't rule out go-karting. You only turn 13 and 3 months once.
Brick: I've never been more sure of anything in my life.

Sue: Whoo! Go, Hens! Thunderclap! Whoo! Hey, Brad. Most spirited... am I right? Go, Hens!
Man: Go to hell.
Sue: That was a teacher.

Mike: What'd you get for number 3?
Frankie: Eyes on your own paper.
Brick: No talking. I repeat, no talking.
Axl: Done!
Sue: You're not done.
Axl: Oh, but I am.
Sue: Shh! You can't be done. You should check your answers. This is why you don't do well on tests.
Axl: You should check your face and see if it's still ugly. Don't bother. It is.

All: With liberty and justice for all.
Brad: Thank you, sergeant at arms. Super-inspiring, as uzhe. And now, as head of the yearbook committee, it is my job and my honor to announcer our senior superlatives. [applause]
Sue: I'm sorry, Brad. Could I just say something? You know, we all get caught up in senior superlatives, but the truth is, it's always the popular people who win these things. But it shouldn't be. D... W-w-w... We're all "best smile." We are all "most spirited." We are the class of 2015, and we have been on this journey together! So please, I urge you, if you are someone like me, who believes in class unity, then don't come up here and accept this award! Send a message that these labels and this system are wrong! Thank you. [scattered applause]
Brad: Okay. Well, I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do now, because the winner for "Best laugh" is Sue Heck. [chuckles] [Sue gasps] [scattered applause]
Sue: Okay, so, before I don't accept this award, let's just take a second and think about this. [nervous laugh] ervously]