‘Royal Wedding’
Season 2, Episode 20 - Aired April 20, 2011
After a week taking care of her family when everyone came down with a cold, Frankie is excited to watch the royal wedding. Meanwhile, Mike deals with discontent at work when he cuts back on free pretzels, and Sue auditions for the school news channel.
Quote from Mike
All: [chant] Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzels! Pretzels!
Mike: Sure. Let's bring back pretzels, and, uh, we can lose stuff like, say... paychecks.
Dave: Says Mr. Giant New TV. That's right. I drove by your place last night.
Mike: What?
Phil Bickel: Have you been misappropriating snack funds for personal gain?
Mike: Personal gain? I had to push my car to work this morning! That's it. No pretzels. End of story. Everyone get back to work.
Quote from Frankie
Axl: Oh, nasty!
Frankie: Wait. I can't see. Why can't I see?
Mike: Frankie, you're a little crusty there. Looks like you might have gotten pinkeye or something.
Frankie: What? How could I get pinkeye?
[flashback to Frankie at the electronics store where a kid with red eyes just tried on 3D glasses]
Frankie: Oh! 3D! [puts on glasses] [chuckles]
[present:]
Frankie: I'm blind! Why is this happening to me? All I wanted was to have tea and scones, and watch the royal wedding, and now I can't open my eyes, and... Ah, my tears can't even get out.
Quote from Frankie
Mike: Now she's going into the church, and a woman- Scratch that. A man in a wig is holding her... cape.
Frankie: Oh, her bridal train. What color's the dress? White or ivory?
Man: [on TV] The entire Royal Family has gathered.
Mike: Ivory.
Frankie: Oh. And what about her sleeves? Are they poufy?
Mike: I guess maybe you could call 'em poufy. And there's some kind of glittery deal going on.
Frankie: Ooh.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Hey, Mom, you really can't see anything?
Frankie: Not a thing.
Axl: Here. I felt bad, so I glued your plate back together. [hands Mike's Colts plate to Frankie]
Frankie: Can't even feel the cracks.
Quote from Frankie
Frankie: [v.o.] Yeah, you can be cynical all you want, but truth is, fairy tales happen every day. Princes really do exist.
Mike: So now she's waving to the crowd. They both look pretty happy.
Frankie: [v.o.] When something wonderful happens, cheers ring out across the land.
[Mike employees cheer as he holds up a barrel of pretzels]
Frankie: [v.o.] Wishes do come true...
Samantha: Is this your handwriting? It's really good.
Frankie: [v.o.] And there really is such a thing as happily ever after.
Mike: So now they're coming out on the balcony. And, oh, they're kissing.
Frankie: Oh. Is it a soft kiss or a deep kiss? Describe it to me.
Mike: Aw, Frankie.