Axl: Jello, everybody! I thought you might be hungry, so I chatted up a nurse. I told her it was Brick's birthday and his favorite food is lime green jello. What can I say? She liked my smile.
Frankie: So how's my cactus doing?
Brick: Eh, I'm a little tired. Seeking attention is exhausting. Axl makes it look so easy.
Frankie: I'm sorry we didn't know about orchestra, Brick.
Brick: Oh, that's okay. I'm quitting anyway. It turns out, when you join the group late in the semester, everyone's already paired off.
Axl: Even nerds need love. It's kind of sad, but in a way, kind of beautiful.
Brick: Hmm. I'm starting to think when I decided to play the field, I may have overestimated the field. Breaking up with Cindy might've been a huge mistake.
Mike: We all said that, Brick. We all said that.

Sue: I'm just scared about Grandma.
Frankie: Hey, if there's one thing I know, it's how tough your grandma is. She's not gonna let something like this stop her. She's gonna be fine. We just all have to stick together and think positive thoughts.
Axl: A little Bwubbly for your anniversary?
Frankie: Ooh. I could use some Bwine.
Mike: Happy anniversary, Frankie.
Frankie: Okay, this one isn't bad. It's kind of got the dryness of wine with just the right amount of foam.
Frankie: [v.o.] The truth is, a family, when it's working right, is a lot like an orchestra. Everyone plays a certain part. But when it all comes together, it makes a beautiful symphony.

Mike: Listen, how important is this whole anniversary thing to you anyway?
Frankie: Really?!
Mike: I'm just saying, it can't be that important. You didn't even remember it a week ago.
Frankie: Look, I know you want me to say it's fine, and usually, I would just do the cheerleader thing that I do, and play my role and be cool with whatever half-assed crap is easy for you, but it's our silver anniversary, so, yeah, it's important.
Mike: Okay, then.
Frankie: Okay.

Sue: No! You know what? I'll make this easy for you. No more Go-To-Sue. From now on, I'm through doing things for you people. I'm out!
Brick: Okay, well... see everybody at pull-the-plug day.

Mike: I just have one question. Why is it me with the sole responsibility of doing something for you? Maybe it should be your job to be planning some big shebang for me.
Frankie: Fine, I get it. You don't want to do anything, so forget it.
Mike: No. Hey, I'm serious. Everyone's talking about, uh, giving up roles around here. Well, I don't like this one. I don't like being in charge of anniversaries that always end up disappointing you anyway. I don't want to do it anymore!
Frankie: Oh, poor you. I know what a hardship it's been all these years walking across the hall, getting Sue to do it!

Sue: Okay, guys, I'm calling an emergency kid meeting.
Brick: Wait, what's a kid meeting?
Sue: It's an offshoot of a family meeting.
Axl: Okay, clearly, we need to lock down some bylaws for these meeting, 'cause Sue is drunk with power.

Sue: Okay, this is ridiculous. I'm calling another family meeting.
Axl: No! You are forbidden from calling any more meetings! [Brick plays sour note] Besides, this whole thing is your fault in the first place.
Sue: Oh, excuse me for standing up for myself! For not being a pushover middle child! For being selfish for once in my life!
Axl: Once?
Sue: Yes, Axl, I give and I give in ways that you don't even see! Like this. This is the last piece of fudgy cake! And I thought, "Hmm, maybe I should leave it for someone else in the family." But no, not anymore! I'm eating it! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! I should feel guilty, but I don't. I have tasted selfishness, and it is delicious!

Mike: Hey, guys. I'm Mom. Join me! Then I'm gonna invite Nancy to come over and we're gonna talk too loud while other people are trying to watch football!
Sue: I'm full, but I'm not gonna offer it to anybody else.
Brick: FYI, I want every one of my performances recorded, and we're gonna watch them repeatedly as a family.
Sue: No! I'm throwing it out!
Frankie: Grandma's in the hospital.
Axl: Oh, I'm Mom. I say things like, "Grandma's in the hospital." Oh. Wait.