‘Risky Business’
Season 7, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 2015
After Rusty turns up to present Mike with another one of his business ideas, Frankie is shocked when Mike wants in. When Sue returns from college after 17 days, she comes clean to Brad about her issues with her roommate. Meanwhile, Axl rebels with some risky stunts when Mike won't let him drive his new motorcycle.
Quote from Axl
Axl: Where's our motorcycle?
Mike: Uh, if you mean my motorcycle that I just bought for myself, it's in the garage. I don't know where yours is.
Axl: What does that mean?
Mike: It means you're not riding it.
Axl: Wh... come on! That's bogus! I was made to ride a bike. This kid idolizes me. You don't let me ride that motorcycle, his whole universe falls apart.
Brick: It's your turn to take out the garbage.
Quote from Brick
Brick: Since we're all here, now's a good time to spin the chore chart. [it lands on Brick] Damn it.
Quote from Axl
Mike: What's this?
Axl: I am riding the tube off the roof, off of the mini trampoline, into the pool.
Mike: What?
Rusty: Fun!
Axl: Turns out I do a lot of crazy stuff and I never get hurt, so I'm gonna do something super dangerous to prove I'm responsible enough to ride your motorcycle.
Quote from Axl
Axl: That's it. I am more determined than ever. I'm gonna win this battle for the motorcycle and for the, um, uh... what was your nerdy thing again?
Brick: The library.
Axl: Right! Fighting for both those things, yes?
Brick: Yes.
Axl: Yes?!
Brick: [same volume as before] Yes.
Axl: Good. Now smack me in the croutons like you mean it.
Quote from Brad
Sue: What should we do now?
Brad: Move our arms and legs a lot. And kick. And kick. And kick and kick and kick. [loudly] I'm so glad we're in college, free to do saucy things 'cause we're away from our parents!
Sue: And God! [whispers] No, God is everywhere. I'm so stupid. Why did I say that?!
Brad: Oh, shake it off. It's improv. There's gonna be mistakes.
Sue: Hold on. I don't hear them.
Brad: [gasps] Maybe they left!
[Sue gasps as she sticks her head out of the covers to take a peek]
Sue: No, they did not leave. What do we do now, Brad? I'm scared.
Brad: [sighs] Let's face it. We played sex chicken and lost.
[Sue and Brad walk out of the dorm room with the bed covers still wrapped around them]
Quote from Axl
Axl: [clears throat loudly] I will now eat three sticks of butter. More people die from eating butter every year than from motorcycles, especially when the expiration date is June 21, 2012. Ba-bam. [chuckles]
Quote from Mike
Stan: So, guys, do you have a PowerPoint?
Mike: No. No. Um, we have... more of a packet. Here's the packet that was previously discussed one second ago. [chuckles]
Stan: Why don't you just give us the highlights?
Mike: Uh... Sure. Okay. He-Here we go. Uh... um... [clears throat] [clearing throat] [clearing throat loudly] [chuckles] Uh, hang on. [drinks water]
Quote from Axl
Axl: Give me one good reason you can ride that motorcycle and I can't.
Mike: It's a dangerous piece of machinery, I have more experience than you, I'm smarter than you, and I'm older than you, so I'm closer to death. And apparently, your Mom's okay with that.
Axl: Okay, so I just wait for you to die, inherit the motorcycle, then ride it to your funeral.