Reverend TimTom: Oh, hey. Don't worry about that tambourine. You're a very enthusiastic player. That's nothing to be down about.
Sue: I just thought this year was gonna be the best ever, 'cause I'm on cross-country. Did I tell you I'm on cross-country?
Reverend TimTom: Yeah. Yeah, I think you mentioned it a couple times during the song.
Sue: But I just feel like I'm behind in... everything. Getting my braces off, my first kiss... I'm sorry. I don't want to ruin your Halloween. Maybe I should just skip the hayride and go home.
Reverend TimTom: So you're in a rough patch. You know who else hit a rough patch? Jesus. He was dead. But then three days later, He was back on his feet, rockin' it resurrection style. My point is, you never know what's right around the corner.
Sue: You know, I think I will go on that hayride. Thank you, Reverend TimTom. You really do get teens.

Reverend TimTom: Hello, Sue Heck.
Sue: Reverend TimTom. You're here! How did you know I needed you? You always come at just the right moments. Okay, so here's my problem. There's this girl on the news team, who's nice, so I thought I should try to make a run at the Btable, where all the cool kids sit, but I think I might have blown it, so what should I do?
Frankie: Okay, Reverend TimTom isn't here for you, Sue. He's here for all of us. Welcome, Reverend. So thrilled you could make it.
Reverend TimTom: Well, me, too. I just got back from Louisville, where they lost another roller rink. Left a lot of teens on wheels with time on their hands. Lucky we were there to put the toe stop to temptation.

Brick: Would you like to see a show?
Frankie: He's not here for you, Brick. He's here for all of us.
Reverend TimTom: Smells delicious. Little prayer before supper?
Frankie: [puts down her fork] Yes. Mm. Like always.
Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] Loaves and fishes, bread and wine Thank you, God, it's suppertime [Mike and Frankie pick up their forks] So let's eat, oh, let's eat Let's raise a glass to the fatted calf, let's eat Let's- [talks] I'm just kidding, guys. Dig in.

Frankie: So what do you think about all this, Reverend TimTom?
Reverend TimTom: Well, I really don't think it's my place to say.
Frankie: Oh, please, chime in. After all, you're the only one at the table with unquestionable moral authority.
Reverend TimTom: Well, it's tough being a teen. You know, I mean, have you tried looking at it through Axl's eyes?
Axl: No. They haven't. Not at all.
Reverend TimTom: High school is a social minefield. I mean, we adults may think it's silly, but you have no idea what's Axl's facing until you've walked a semester down those halls in his high-tops.
Frankie: But--
Axl: Ha! And this is coming from God. In your face, Mom!
Reverend TimTom: The thing is, there may only be one judgment day in heaven, but in high school, every day is judgment day.

Sue: Oh.Reverend TimTom. Are you leaving?
Reverend TimTom: Did you think I'd leave without talking to you, Sue Heck? Listen. Don't go thinking any table's too good for you and your friend. Remember, the most famous A table of all was the Last Supper, and everyone was welcome.
Sue: But Jesus isn't in my lunchroom.
Reverend TimTom: Or is He?

Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] Well, times were different, and I think you'll concur That little babies shouldn't play With frankincense or myrrh unless it's Happy birthday, baby Jesus Happy Christmas, Happy kwanzaa Happy hanukkah And happy, happy birthday, baby Jesus [talks] "Christ," not "X."

Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] You could change the world, and you could make it great I learned to play guitar and sing on ice skates As a teen You can do anything When you're a teen [talks] Hey there, Sue Heck.
Sue: Reverend TimTom. [giggles] You need to talk to Brick about the Bible again. Christmas is in two days, and he's still not getting it.
Brick: It's just the more I read, the more questions I have. It's exhausting.
Reverend TimTom: Well, Jesus enjoyed a lively debate. That's the way he rolled. Shoot.

Brick: Okay, so Jesus says, "If you have faith, as small as a mustard seed, the smallest of seeds, you can move mountains." The smallest seed is the orchid seed. Shouldn't he know that?
Reverend TimTom: Well, I don't think orchids grew in ancient Palestine.
Sue: Didn't grow there. Ha! See, Brick?
Brick: Okay, but if God is all-powerful, why didn't he make everybody nice?
Reverend TimTom: Well, that's where free will comes in. You see, God wants people to really dig him, so you're not gonna dig him if there's no choice.
Sue: Choice. Ha. Gettin' it?
Brick: But what about the burning bush or Moses parting the Red Sea? I mean, wow factor? Yes. But believability? Eh.
Reverend TimTom: I get where you're coming from, but if you believe in God, His miracles happen every day.
Sue: Every day.
Reverend TimTom: Sue, um, why don't you take a couple laps around the rink? I think I got this.
Sue: He's got this.

Sue: Reverend TimTom. I don't understand what's happening. Why isn't Brick fixed yet? I mean, you're not just gonna give up on him, right? You're gonna write him some special soul-saving song? [gasps] Or is this one of those time-release things where everything you've said will kick in later?
Reverend TimTom: Sorry, Sue. I did all I could. Right now it's couples skate, and I see a few bummed-out teens without partners. I need to go scoop 'em up and get 'em skatin'. Conga line!

Reverend TimTom: [plays guitar and sings] It's a bell you can't unring It's a song you can't unsing It's a gift you can never take back That's why it's best to stay on track And wait 'til marriage [talks] Okay, everybody. I'll see you next week.